I’m a Bread Winner! or How I Pinched a Loaf

*ta, ta ta ta*  HEAR YE, HEAR YE!  All ye lords and ladies, gather around for a momentous tale of adventure, wit, skill, and kitchen appliances!  Hear ye, hear ye!  *ta, ta ta ta*

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And now, without further ado, I present to the court your own Royal Highness’ first episode with her knight in shining armor, her Kitchen Aid Mixer!

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I admit…my first interaction with the yet-unnamed Knight was risky and bold:  I planned to make two loaves of cinnamon bread in a machine I had never worked with before.  PLUS, I also wanted to bake 3 dozens cookies while the loaves were rising.  Pretty ambitious for a Kitchen Aid virgin.

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I rolled my sleeves up, donned my apron, and set to work.  I was all a-twitter with excitement.  After carefully melting a butter/milk/sugar/salt mixture on the stove, I added that to some dissolved yeast, waiting patiently for me in my brand new mixing bowl.

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I happen to love that picture, because it combines two of my loves this Christmas:  my new camera, and my new appliance.  So much love in one photo…I can’t bear it!

Turning the mixer on was like magic.  I stood there, watching the bread hook weave in and out of my dough, and I was transfixed:  this was really my mixer.  I was making bread.  Me!  A bread maker!

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Ten minutes later, I was the proud owner of one ripe, perfect mound of dough (nope, you really can’t make a lump of dough sound any more appealing of that…trust me…I sat here for about 5 minutes trying to think up adjectives to make it sound more tantalizing.  You really can’t).

Then, the hard part comes:  the waiting.  You must now allow your dough to rise for 1 hour…60 minutes…360 seconds of waiting, waiting, waiting.  I could have gone and played with my new Rock Band keyboard, but nay!  I was having too much fun.  Onward to baked glory!

Next up to bat:  snowball cookies.  I have made these delicacies two times during the holiday season, and they are always a hit with any audience.  Personally, they remind me of my Italian grandmother’s snowball cookies growing up, but these add a slight twist:  mini chocolate chips, from the Nestle Very Best Baking website.

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Within minutes, I had a beautiful cookie batter with walnuts and chips mixed in, ready for eternal glory on non-stick baking sheets.  Row after row of delicious batter was placed onto 3 sheets, with the aid of a new addition to my family.

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A cookie scooper.  Nay, not an ice cream scooper converted for baking purposes…a real life cookie scooper.  It was paired with a convertible tablespoon measure as a wonderful Christmas gift from Uncle Lewis, who also hawked his stogie and toupee for a 6-piece bake set.  When a man loves a woman, he buys her jewelry.  When a man REALLY loves a woman, he buys her bakeware.

Now, herein lies the real temptation of baking…something I greatly struggle with:  to eat the batter, or NOT eat the batter?  That is the question.  The answer is elementary, my dear Watson…you stuff your face with the batter, and enjoy every moment of your gluttonous sacrifice.  Who doesn’t eat batter???

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A round of dish washing, including mixing bowls, 2 spoons, a sifter, a sauce pan, a spatula, and 20 minutes later found me staring at rows and rows of lightly dusted orbs of wonder:

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After drooling a bit and treating myself to a taste of my handiwork, I knew…it was time. Time to make the leap from ordinary baker to…bread maker.  2 loaves, 375 degrees, 40 minutes, no holds barred.

ARE…YOU…READY?

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Et voila!  Cinnamon Bread! Two completely normal, perfect mounds of joy!  I couldn’t believe it!  It worked!  I was a real baker!

And, of course, as any proper dessert lover would know, you cannot simple serve bread on its own.  Oh no…you need….some dessert bling

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My bread, finally complete with vanilla glaze.  All with the help of my new Knight in Shining Armor, my Kitchen Aid mixer.  The End.


What do you think, my salivating readers?  What moniker should be applied to My Knight?

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33 responses to this post.

  1. Congrats on your Kitchen Aid! It has been my friend for the last 3 months and I can’t fathom how I ever lived without it!

    Reply

  2. wow!!! and can I just say, my mouth is literally watering now… perhaps I ought to get me one of those lol
    looks like you had a lot of fun and the finished articles look fantastic 🙂

    Reply

    • I always have fun baking! Really helps me de-stress, and I feel like I’ve accomplished something…which is good, after three days of sitting on the couch and eating M&Ms. Nestle has the best cookie recipes!

      Reply

  3. That is one serious-looking mixer. Congratulations!

    Reply

  4. Okay, I’m happy about your new camera. I dig how much you love the new mixer. But you got a Rock Band keyboard too?!? Your place may soon challenge Willy Wonka’s crib. You should totally install a Wonkavator or at least name your mixer that.
    btw, I see those Keurig Kcups you have there and I just fell in like with you a little more. It’s also becoming a bit of a game for me to find your reflection in pictures you’ve taken. I always did love Where’s Waldo.

    Reply

    • First, I think I need to install a Chocolate River. Then, hire some Oompa Loompas. THEN, the Wonkavator. One step at a time! Can’t get too greedy!

      My Keurig has saved my life (or at least supported my caffeine addiction). My Keurig, along with my mixer, may just produce world peace. Or Captain Planet. Either or, it’s a win-win situation.

      So, it was YOU pressing the “LIKE” button 5,468 times! The mystery is solved! I wish there were more options for that button: like, love, loathe, detest, and abhor. Just sayin’.

      Reply

  5. Posted by Uncle Lewis on December 29, 2010 at 3:08 am

    Thoses things I bought you were for cooking? OOOOOOHHH… I am embarassed to tell you what I thought they are used for. Let’s just say… I may be more creative than you… it matches my adoration.

    So happy you like the gift my sweet. The cinnamon bread was YUMMY!!!

    Reply

    • Wait…they’re NOT for cooking? Let me get the manual out…

      …the scooper…goes WHERE?!?! Oh, my….how did…that looks painful…but oh, the model’s smiling…hmm.

      Uncle Lewis, how did they let you out of the home to buy these things? Did you bribe a nurse again?

      I’m glad you liked the cinnamon bread. AND….the icing. I bet you have other ideas for THAT, too. 🙂

      Reply

  6. I’m going to go with the obvious and say that you should name your fabulous mixer…Drum Roll Please….Lancelot! Lance rhymes with dance and celot looks like it rhymes with zealot. If I had a mixer that is what I would be. A dancing zealot. Whirling and twirling and dancing and singing and baking cookies galore. My kitchen would be a Broadway musical.

    I really like the Escheresque mixing bowl/camera pic.

    Reply

    • You’re the 2nd person to call my pic “Escheresque.” I’ll now have to make a mention of that in an upcoming post.

      Not gonna lie…I REALLY like Lancelot. I’ve gotten 2 votes for Sir Mix-A-Lot, but I like your reasoning behind the nomenclature. I can call it Lance for short!

      Reply

  7. I’d like to order one loaf of cinnamon bread and an order of snowball cookies, please.

    I’ve never heard of snowball cookies. I’ll have to try making them!

    Reply

    • Oh, snowball cookies are so easy to make! Just make you you have a ton of butter and flour on hand (like 3 sticks of butter!).

      If I could airmail them to you, I would! Sadly, the cookies are gone!

      Reply

  8. hi honey
    Merry christmas ………..
    Daily photography of Sirjan is my photoblog in this adress http://www.sirjanlife.wordpress.com
    at this page there are my pictures of my city in iran.
    please Visited my blog and see my pictures and leave comments about them
    tanx.

    Reply

  9. Good night, my friend.
    I came here to absorb the knowledge that you provide on this blog. I’m so glad to find this blog and read interesting articles.
    Nice to visit here. Next time I will come back.

    My greetings.
    Good luck!

    Reply

  10. With the new mixer and camera, I foresee a new career path as a food stylist. What about Sir Mix-a-lot for a moniker? Too obvious?

    Reply

    • Sir Mix-a-lot!!! Awesome!

      Reply

      • As I told Peg-o-Leg, Sir Mix-a-lot reminds me of “Baby Got Back,” which subsequently reminds me of bad high school dances with equally bad 14-year-old dancers with no rhythm. Kinda makes me smile 🙂

    • A food stylist! I love it! I can rearrange platings of meals so that restaurant menus look scrumptious and alluring. (Or, I can just photograph myself eating cookies and pie for breakfast…either or.)

      Sir Mix-A-Lot reminds me of that rap song “Baby Got Back,” and now I’m thrown back into high school dances, where all of the looser females would gyrate in the corner. Ahh, good times…

      Reply

  11. You can BAKE cookie dough?

    I’ve got a red Kitchen Aid Knight. I adore him! However, he’s never churned out cinnamon bread before! Bravo!

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    • I got the cinnamon bread recipe FROM the Kitchen Aid manual! It was pretty simple, too.

      Yes, Hellish…you BAKE cookie dough. I know this is a foreign concept to you, but the batter does sometimes actually make it to the baking sheet. (And honestly, even when I DO bake it, I undercook it a bit so it maintains that wonderful, awesome dough-y-ness….kind of like LiLo’s cr—NEVERMIND!)

      Reply

      • Posted by Nazia on January 1, 2011 at 7:05 pm

        In baking cooking recipe doesn’t matter but your baking time, quality of ingredients and different styles of making dough matters a lot.
        French and Swiss have one of best find baking products and recipes but what I feel that it is their quality ingredient that make taste difference.In Morocco I found fresh yeast which they used in baking all kinds of bread and cookies and their hand madee doughing techniques are excellent ,making taste quite different what we do in mixer or through different people of other areas.
        Any how good cooking and baking is one of enjoyable creative human activity, making home environment lively than those who rely on food outlets.
        Enjoy your baking in2011 with same sense of creativity .Happy new year

      • Lively cooking…I like it! Maybe someday I’ll have a cooking show called “Cooking Lively!”

      • try cinnamon roles with caramel sauce and you would enjoy its fresh and lively taste with black tea or coffee.
        you can also read this.
        http://naziaiftikhar.wordpress.com/2010/12/15/happy-foods/
        I am very strong cook and my this cooking habit is active driving force of maintaining lively culture in my huge family and friend circle.

      • Anything with caramel is amazing…an-y-thing. I just made a caramel pecan pie for the holidays…how can caramel be anything but awesome?

  12. Looks like you and Genetic Offspring are Dating already! Excellent – sorry he is such a messy cookie eater, but the blue fur does go well with his eyes 🙂 Congratulations on the kitchen aid! Is it not the best invention ever?

    Reply

    • I guess we must have gone on a blind date, although I will say, the blue fur kind of gets in the way sometimes. It tickled my face when I went in for a good night kiss. Plus, the whole night, all he could say was “COOKIE!!!” over and over again…not much of a conversationalist. 🙂

      Ugh, the mixer is changing my life. I have a feeling it will become a staple in my blog.

      Going to read your latest post now!

      Reply

  13. I’m going to have to start reading your posts after I eat. I thought the cookies looked good (awesome composition in the photo by the way) and then the bread with drizzled icing? Engage stomach growling (it actually did just growl which is sort of ironic).

    The picture you took of the mixing bowl is really “neat.” It sort of messes with one’s head to try and figure out how everything is being held and angled there.

    Okay, I’m going to eat something.

    Reply

    • I basically wake up hungry. When I go to bed at night, I’m excited for breakfast the next morning. And anything’s fair game when it comes to breakfast, so you’d better believe that those cookies and bread were eaten several times this week before 9:00 AM.

      Thanks for your comments on the pictures. I’m sort of just stumbling around blindly with the new camera until I can find a book or website which teaches me about the basics…which is half the fun, anyways!

      Go…eat. Treat yourself to something other than Ramen noodles 🙂

      Reply

  14. Are you taking orders??? Your bread looks delicious!

    Reply

    • Sure, I’ll take orders! But then again….I have NO idea how to go about shipping bread. I would think that a funny anecdote (and blog post) if you just went to the post office, handed them a loaf of bread, and then said “I’d like to ship this.” OR, it would be a funny anecdote for a blog post! Hmmm….

      Reply

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