I will be writing absolutely nothing of any worth this week!
NOTHING!
It's neon so it's official.
Don’t expect greatness this week, dear readers. Heck, don’t even expect mediocrity. This week, I’m going for rock bottom! No holds barred! I will work my hardest to turn out absolutely nothing worth reading!
A round of Mad Libs would produce better writing.
I’m pushing myself extremely hard this week to produce a few short posts that will not be award-winning, tear-inducing, nor smile-evoking. Any why am I working overtime to produce articles a 3-year-old could have written? Well, I’m glad that you asked!
Why I’m Not Writing Much This Week
(A.K.A. “Excuses, Excuses, Excuses”)
1.) I’m hyped up on Zicam, Benadryl, Ibuprofen, Robitussin, Throat Coat and Chocolate
I’m sick! Or rather, I’ve been sick since Thursday. What started off as a nagging head cold turned into a monster which has kept my energy low and my medicine cabinet occupied. I’ve been trying my best to rest and catch up on sleep, but life keeps chugging away…and my nose keeps running.
My typical writing time ranges anywhere from 10:00 PM-1:00 AM…not exactly a perfect time to be creative when you’re left nostril is plugged and your close friend Tylenol PM is urging you towards your pillow.
2.) I’m in a musical which opens this week!
If you’re even the tiniest familiar with theatre, you know that there are dozens of elements which go into the production of a show. After 2 months of rehearsal, the actors, stage crew, musicians, et al enter in to what we theatre folks call “Hell Week”, a.k.a “Tech Week.”
Tech Week: (noun) the four rehearsals leading up to opening night of a show; costumes, lighting, sound, microphones and pit musicians are all added during this week, causing anxiety, stress, nervous, breakdowns, tears, and hysterical whimpering to all involved; copious amounts of wine, beer, and/or sleep are needed during this time
So, as you can assume, my #1 Reason for not blogging a lot this week does NOT go well with my #2 Reason. Being sick during a tech week is like having to do jury duty while you’re giving birth. It’s ain’t pretty.
Plus, my voice has dropped nearly an octave…I sound like a drag queen after a really rough evening involving alcohol, string cheese, and a Super Soaker gun…don’t ask. Because my part in the show requires a lot of singing, I’ve gotta rest up for opening night on Thursday.
3.) I got a substitute teaching gig!
Yep, that’s right! I got dealt some pretty lucky cards, and I will be filling in as a music sub on Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday of this week. Which means that, on those days, from 7:20 AM –2:35 PM, I will be purposely adding more stress to my body on a week where it would much rather stay in bed and eat bon bons. Still, I’m not complaining! Work is work!
So there you have it! Three solid reasons why you may discover sub-par postings from me this week. I’m not dead, I haven’t moved to Hawaii (although I’d like to), I’m not on some secret CIA mission, and I’m not in rehab (Charlie Sheen beat me to it).
I apologize in advance on a commenting front as well: I’m purposely making myself take some time away from the computer in order to let my body get some decent sleep at night, which means that I won’t be reading many articles this week. Trust me, to quote from one of my favorite movies, The Godfather, “it’s not personal, it’s business.”
So, there you have it. Oh, and one more thing…
Leave the gun, take the cannoli…
Miracle on 32nd Street 
Posted by fnkybee on February 1, 2011 at 8:10 am
I hope you kick that cold in the tooshie and get back to normal so you can rock out your musical and sub-teaching this week!
Posted by auntbethany on February 5, 2011 at 4:49 pm
Not sick anymore, successfully opened the show, and I’m subbing AGAIN all next week! Thanks, dear!
Posted by firecracker3 on February 1, 2011 at 8:16 am
Having been in a few plays I will say that it was the worst gig of my life, work and stress-wise. They didn’t coin the term “hell week” for nothing 🙂 Hope you are feeling better very soon!
Posted by auntbethany on February 5, 2011 at 4:49 pm
I AM feeling better now, thank you! The show’s going very well!
Posted by attnemployeesadmin1 on February 1, 2011 at 8:18 am
Lack of hard work hardly keeps many employees down, you’ll endure! Look at senior management: (http://attentionemployees.com/2011/01/15/man-promoted-for-working-hard-at-hardly-working/)
Posted by auntbethany on February 5, 2011 at 4:49 pm
I should get an award this week for doing absolutely no blogging. Minus answering other employees’ comments, of course…
Posted by thoughtsappear on February 1, 2011 at 9:02 am
Congrats on the subbing!
I love Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat! Break a leg!
Posted by auntbethany on February 5, 2011 at 4:50 pm
Thanks, dear! The show’s going very well!
Posted by The Edmonton Tourist on February 1, 2011 at 10:34 am
Liar! Pants on fire! You said this post wouldn’t make me smile… Robitussen and Chocolate did 🙂
Get better soon Aunty!
xxx
Posted by auntbethany on February 5, 2011 at 4:50 pm
Ooh, Aunty…I like it! I am feeling better, and have continued to dose myself with chocolate consistently throughout the week!!
Posted by Tori Nelson on February 1, 2011 at 11:00 am
Seriously, you are hilarious even when doped up on Tylenol PM and Hersheys. Hope you get to feeling better quick!
Posted by auntbethany on February 5, 2011 at 4:50 pm
I am feeling better now! Still have an annoying stuffy nose, but what can ya do?!?
Posted by Angelia Sims Hardy on February 1, 2011 at 12:04 pm
Ha Ha! Love the chocolate pic! That is my drug of choice. 🙂
I had that brutal bugger……not much puts me down, but it sure did! Hope you hang in there and get some rest. Best of luck on the show! You might sub zimcam with lots-O-oranges. 🙂
Posted by auntbethany on February 5, 2011 at 4:51 pm
I am so sick of Zicam now…I even switched to the chewable pieces, but the taste still made me gag…ugh!
Posted by The Hook on February 1, 2011 at 2:31 pm
Another great post!
Posted by auntbethany on February 5, 2011 at 4:52 pm
Thanks, dear Hook!
Posted by Chase McFadden on February 1, 2011 at 3:29 pm
If this was a half-assed effort, I can’t imagine what full-assed would have read like. Maybe you’ve found your niche.
Some of my best work has occured during medicated stupors, though. Hell, that’s how we conceived two of our four kids.
Hope you’re feeling better. And break a leg, although that seems counterintuitive to feeling better.
Posted by auntbethany on February 5, 2011 at 4:53 pm
So, Tax Credit #4 was conceived on a bottle of Nyquil and Codeine??? It all makes sense now…
I am planning on half-assing it for a while now…just got some more subbing gigs, but I plan to use my prep period to blog a bit. If anyone asks, I’m just multi-tasking….right?
Posted by educlaytion on February 1, 2011 at 4:03 pm
Chase is hilarious. So, let’s just get Mr. Perfect out of the way. This comment will not be good. I will not be as funny as you or Chase. And I’m really trying. I’ve also conducted various activities under various stupors, but I can’t discuss them here until all pending litigation is resolved. Sounds like you’ve got a buttload of stuff to get done, so I understand you not being able to comment on anybody’s site but mine. They’ll get over it. And you don’t have to make me fajitas until next week. But, ah, on second thought, leave the cannoli too.
Posted by auntbethany on February 5, 2011 at 4:53 pm
I’m pretty sure you were in one of those drunken stupors a few weeks back, right? 🙂
Posted by territerri on February 1, 2011 at 6:07 pm
Who could blame you for easing up on the blog front? Feel better soon!
Posted by auntbethany on February 5, 2011 at 4:54 pm
I’ve missed you all! I keep getting subscription emails but I kind of forced myself to take some time off…and now I am feeling better and raring to get back in the blogging game!
Posted by SuzRocks on February 1, 2011 at 7:57 pm
Hope you feel better! I expect you back next week in full force. 🙂
Posted by auntbethany on February 5, 2011 at 4:55 pm
I will try to be back as much as possible, but I do have another full week of subbing ahead of me. Still, I have enough from my first week to fill up 2 weeks worth of blog posts!
Posted by Larry Hehn on February 1, 2011 at 11:45 pm
Mmm…chocolate…
Posted by auntbethany on February 5, 2011 at 4:55 pm
I always have chocolate on me. Even the secretaries at the school saw me coming a mile away…I found a mini Hershey Bar in my mail box when I arrived at school for the first day.
Posted by claudiawjohnson on April 1, 2011 at 7:30 am
Good for you! I hope the show was awesome!