Prompter’s Roulette: Ode to a Stale Cookie

Welcome back to another Plinky Prompts Thursday! I am your host, Aunt Bethany, and I’ll be—

What?!? We’ve re-named our traditional Thursday posts?  Why didn’t anyone tell me? God, this is embarrassing…of all the stupid, inconsiderate mistakes…

Forgive me for the error, but it appears that we here at Miracle on 32nd Street will be labeling our Thursday prompt-centered posts as Prompter’s Roulette posts, a change from our usual Plinky Prompt Thursday posts.

As of late, I’ve been taking prompts from several different websites (not just Plinky), and it seemed erroneous to label my Thursday prompts as Plinky.  I’ll still be drawing from that website, but now I have the option to pick and choose between the prompts that land at my feet…kind of like Roulette.  I don’t know what I’m getting, but I’ll write on just about anything!

So, without further ado–ring Justin Bieber fans, I present to you my prompt for the week, straight from Mama Kat’s Pretty Much World Famous Writer’s Workshop:

2.) Write a love poem to a favorite food.

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Ode to a Stale Cookie

I remember life, flavor, zest

A presence of spirit, an offering of comfort

You, with your ruby red gems and your bittersweet memories,

You…you…gave up on me too soon

Life was a bowlful of cherries

(and eggs and sugar and flour and butter)

From humble beginnings, you molded yourself into a raw, doughy being,

not strong enough yet to stand

Decorating yourself with the darkest of chocolates and the richest of berries,

you separated yourself from the rest of the pack,

whittling and rounding your rough edges

into a sphere of endless possibility

You sat patiently, enduring heat and strife,

growing harder to the world as each minute passed

And, at 12 minutes old, you emerged from the fire

in a blaze of triumph and glory

You were volatile and hot, and scalded my hands

I waited for you with excitement and love

And when finally, you cooled to my sensitive touch,

you caressed my lips, and my joy became real

I was smitten with you, as you were with me

Every morning I indulged in some of your clones

But, as our courtship progressed, you grew distant and cold

And quickly our love began to fade

Your touch was so hard, your spirit was mute

Extra effort was needing to enjoy every bite

I gave you my all, I dunked you in milk,

until one day, you broke me, and chipped my front teeth

Now, I’m left with the memory of our love affair

I’ll never be whole, my heart is now changed

I’ll cry over you as you sit in the trash,

lamenting our—wait, is that cake?!?

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8 Things I Did on New Year’s Weekend

1.) Baked white chocolate cranberry/cherry cookies with the help of my new Kitchen Aid Mixer

After a lively debate via comments and suggestions to moi, I have declared a name for my lovely new, knight-in-shining-armor Kitchen Aid mixer…and that name is Lancelot.

Bob came up for such a name, and expertly defended his idea:

“I’m going to go with the obvious and say that you should name your fabulous mixer…Drum Roll Please….Lancelot! Lance rhymes with dance and celot looks like it rhymes with zealot. If I had a mixer that is what I would be. A dancing zealot. Whirling and twirling and dancing and singing and baking cookies galore. My kitchen would be a Broadway musical.”

Of course, every knight needs a full title.  Fellow blogger Pegoleg also suggested a moniker of “Sir Mix-A-Lot”, so, there you have it, ladies and gentlemen:  please welcome Sir Lancelot Mix-A-Lot to the family.

2.) Travelled to Pottery Barn (no, an ACTUAL pottery barn…full of pots)

My highlight of New Year’s Eve Day was a trip out to a local potter’s warehouse, which comprised 3 floors of pots, pots, and more pots.  Most of his wares ranged somewhere between $100 and $400, so I settled on a nice, single flower vase for about $20.  And a $7 magnet.  I’m a big spender.

3.) Sang and played oboe in a New Year’s Eve Broadway Gala

At our local playhouse, there is a traditional New Year’s Eve Gala held every year.  For the 2010-2011 crossover event, they presented a concert full of Broadway music, presenting over 100 performers who were all volunteer.  The event featured a full orchestra and a 70-member chorus, as well as several individual soloists.

I was running around like a chicken with my head cut off between the hours of 6-10 PM.  I had served as vocal director for this event, guiding the chorus with their material, and also subsequently became a member of their ranks come showtime.  I also played my oboe in the orchestra (correction, I squawked on my oboe in the orchestra), and I was lucky enough to have a vocal solo as well.

If anyone is familiar with musical theatre, a few of the pieces presented in the show included West Side Story Highlights, Phantom of the Opera Medley, “Agony” from Into the Woods, “I Know Where I’ve Been” from Hairspray, and my song, “Astonishing”, from Little Women.

I’m a Bread Winner! or How I Pinched a Loaf

*ta, ta ta ta*  HEAR YE, HEAR YE!  All ye lords and ladies, gather around for a momentous tale of adventure, wit, skill, and kitchen appliances!  Hear ye, hear ye!  *ta, ta ta ta*

And now, without further ado, I present to the court your own Royal Highness’ first episode with her knight in shining armor, her Kitchen Aid Mixer!

I admit…my first interaction with the yet-unnamed Knight was risky and bold:  I planned to make two loaves of cinnamon bread in a machine I had never worked with before.  PLUS, I also wanted to bake 3 dozens cookies while the loaves were rising.  Pretty ambitious for a Kitchen Aid virgin.

I rolled my sleeves up, donned my apron, and set to work.  I was all a-twitter with excitement.  After carefully melting a butter/milk/sugar/salt mixture on the stove, I added that to some dissolved yeast, waiting patiently for me in my brand new mixing bowl.

I happen to love that picture, because it combines two of my loves this Christmas:  my new camera, and my new appliance.  So much love in one photo…I can’t bear it!

SNL Weekend (RAC) Update

Welcome to your SNL Weekend RAC Update! Please welcome your guest hosts, Tiny Fey and–

(What?  We couldn’t get Ms. Fey and Mr. Fallon?!?  Why the hell not?  Budget concerns?  Mr. Fallon wanted to be paid in salmon? Okay, okay, you’ve got a point there…all right, give me two seconds…)

Welcome AGAIN to your Non-SNL Weekend RAC Update! Please welcome your host…..me!  Aunt Bethany!

Let’s get started!

Weekend RAC #1 was completed early Saturday morning before the clock struck 11 AM.  I wasn’t ambitious in my efforts, nor was I up at the crack of dawn scouting out Salvation Army buckets.  Nay, dear readers, the inevitable happened again:  I was stood up by a student for a voice lesson, yet AGAIN.

Easy as Apple Pie

I’m easy….

I'll see you in the bedroom as soon as I can stand up.

No, no Uncle Lewis!  Put your pants back on!  I’m not THAT kind of easy.

Now, where was I?  Oh yes…I’m easy, meaning “easy to please,” especially when it comes to food.  Little Caesar’s Hot-N-Ready pizza, Quizno’s subs, McDonald’s milk shakes…I find gourmet pleasure in the simplest places.

The luck of the Irish starts with the Shamrock Shake.

Now, I’m not saying that I don’t have refined cuisine tastes, either.  I adore a smattering of sushi, a fine glass of Riesling, and a raspberry hazelnut cheesecake with Chambord for dessert.  I’ve had the good fortune to dine at Bobby Flay’s restaurant, savor thin crust flatbread from Italy, and cherish a well made risotto.  But, I’m easily satiated when it’s just me, myself and I at home.

I realized today, however, that my diet staples may evoke confusion amidst even the least finicky.  I didn’t ponder the oddities that fill my kitchen weekly until I had a friend over for lunch today, and attempted to offer him a favorite delicacy of mine.  Allow me to elaborate!

Item #1:  Freezer Pizza Because I a.) live alone, and b.) have a deep affinity for all things pizza, I wind up with an ample amount of leftovers.  Living in NYC for 2 years and being a college student for 8 has taught me one thing:  waste not, want not.  It became habitual for me to take leftovers, place them into Ziplock containers, and file them away in the confines of my freezer, ne’er to be seen for weeks, months, and sometimes years.  I guess you could say that I have the Mary Poppins Freezer:  I can stick my hand inside of it and literally pull out any dish from any cuisine…it’s a bottomless fridge of wonder.

I don't need a spoonful of sugar...just give me a bottle of wine.