Archive for November, 2010

“It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas”

The Christmas season is now upon us, ladies and gentlemen.  The in-laws have departed for another month, our living rooms are littered with fresh pine needles, the holiday weight gain has initiated, and “Rocking Around the Christmas Tree” will now be played 24/7 on your local radio station.  It’s undeniable:  Christmas is finally here.

My shotgun start to the holiday season began on Thanksgiving.  My family celebration was a great reminder of just how insane my relatives are…and, consequentially, just how much I love them.  I attempt to keep a normal amount of anonymity on my blog, so I won’t post each and every embarrassing picture I took last Thursday…however, I think these three pictures sum up the entire night (and how close my family may truly be to straight jackets and happy blue pills).

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Charlie Sheen’s Thanksgiving

(minus the stripper)

The insanity continues…

Thanksgiving-Palooza: Part Four

Welcome back to our holiday kick-off party, Thanksgiving-Palooza!

*echo PALOOZA PALOOZA PAL–

Uncle Lewis, would you please stop making ominous echoes EVERYTIME I say that word?

lewis

Uncle Lewis*puts down megaphone* Sorry…

It’s okay, I can’t fault you for being excited.  Lord knows I’m totally pumped for the holidays, now, and I find I’m a bearer of great Christmas spirit today.

The trytophen’s gone, the pecan pie’s demolished, and the relatives have taken all of their Depends undergarments and scurried home…this can only mean one thing…

Christmas is coming!

*echo COMING COMING COMING CO–

UNCLE LEWIS!!!

REE

Uncle Lewis:  *puts down microphone* All right, I’m done.

Don’t worry, he’ll pass out eventually…

Thanksgiving-Palooza: Part Three

Our third Thanksgiving-Palooza post involves a recap of the past two RACs I’ve done yesterday and today.  Aunt Bethany here, and I will still be serving as your host for this post, and for the upcoming fourth and final entry to our Thanksgiving-Palooza series.

pledge

My Wednesday RAC was by no means anything spectacular.  It actually piggy-backed off of my Tuesday RAC, so, in many ways, it shouldn’t have counted.  Still, it’s an action I wouldn’t normally have done, so, it counts! RACs are kind of like horse shoes and hand grenades:  even if you’re close, it counts!

As I was picking up a Little Caesar’s Hot-N-Ready pizza on Wednesday, I was met by a rather pleasant and amiable cashier, who looked liked he had just faced a rather difficult rush of lunch orders.  Still, he approached the counter refreshed and with a smile on his face.  In fact, he even took the time mid-transaction to ask me how I was, a question which usually is placed at the front of conversation and without much thought.  “How are you today?” has become as normal as just saying “Hello” to someone…you do it without thinking, but just how much do you really wish to know how someone is?

So, hearing this question mid-conversation kind of threw me, in a good way.  I think I was so surprised to hear that come out of his mouth that I almost didn’t know how to respond.  I was able, however, to come up with something, because my hands eventually found their way to my wallet and handed $6.95 to the cashier.  “How are you?” goes” at the BEGINNING of the conversation, goddamnit!  Cannot compute, cannot compute, cannot compute…

I was just about to pick up my steaming box of goodness when I glanced down on the counter to spy a mostly empty tip jar staring back at me…

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How can you say “no” to eyes like that?

Really, how CAN you?

Thanksgiving-Palooza: Part Two

Let’s play a game….one of the following two things are true:

1.) I’ve had about 3 glasses of wine at our family Thanksgiving gathering, and I seem to love my family more than usual.

2.) Jude Law has proposed marriage, I am moving to England, and our babies will be miraculous feats of beauty.

Obviously, I don’t drink, so I will be sending out “Save the Dates” for my matrimonial union with Mr. Law….

In all seriousness, I am enjoying my family more than usual this year, and yes…I have had about 3 glasses of wine.  Determining whether the two are connected will be left up to the Gods to decide.  But, the important thing is…I am appreciating my family more and more this year.

This, in itself, is a hard feat to accomplish.  My family consists of me, my parents (who love me unconditionally…I don’t know who paid them off), my aunt and uncle, their children, and their children, my second cousins.  The overwhelmingly glaring truth about my involvement and proper place in my family hinges on one fact:  I am the only one in the 15-38 age bracket.  Let me be more specific:  I am the only one in the 22-30 age bracket…meaning, I am the only one without a spouse, children, and stretch marks.

It has been somewhat difficult for me to find my place within my family for the past few years.  When I was growing up, I was the youngest grandchild…the baby of the family…I relished an era of time that allowed me to do/say anything that would be looked upon with giddiness and awe.  That was, until , a new generation of great-grandchildren usurped my status and became the new darlings of the bunch. They pushed me off my pedestal, and left me to fend for myself…poor, lost, collegiate student that I was.  I found myself struggling to define my familial identity as a grandchild who was becoming an adult, and as an adult that wasn’t quite ready to claim that title.

Keep on reading…

Thanksgiving-Palooza!

Hello all, and welcome to the first annual…

Thanksgiving-Palooza!

echo *PALOOZA PALOOZA PALOOZA PALOOZA* echo

razy turkey

I am Aunt Bethany, and I will be your host for our day of festivities…

bethanyA glimpse of Aunt Bethany…

Let’s get down to business!  Our first post for Turkey Day will feature a topic which is on everyone’s mind.

Uncle LewisSEX?!?

Aunt Bethany: No, Uncle Lewis!  Put your hands in the air and back away from the bourbon!

Sorry, folks….you’ll have to excuse him.  He doesn’t get out much, and unfortunately, today he forgot to take his medication.  He says it doesn’t mix well with the liquor, and I really don’t want to see what he acts like hyped up on bourbon and Viagra….I mean, Lipitor….

Now, back to what today’s really about (besides all those feel-good, warm your heart ideals like gratitude, thankfulness, and generosity…):

FOOD!

Serve the first course!