Archive for January, 2011

What the #FF?!?: Blogger’s Choice Awards

My site was nominated for Best Humor Blog!

LOOK!

Admittedly, I did a little P.R. work for myself yesterday.  As I was reading one of my new favorite blogs, 20 Prospect, I stumbled across a badge of his:

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Intrigued, I clicked on the link and found myself at the Blogger’s Choice Awards.I began to browse the site, and realized that the good people at the B.C.A.s host an open-voting competition to filter out the true blogging gems from the rest of the rabble.

Anyone can vote, for any blog, at any time.  You are restricted to one vote per blog, but you get an unlimited number of votes.  Like a site you see?  Send them a vote.  Like their design?  Send them a vote.  Cast as many votes as you wish!

Seeing that Oprah was not about to nominate my blog anytime soon, I did a little shameless self-promotion and entered my blog in 3 categories: Best Humor Blog, Best Pop Culture Blog , and Best Blog About Stuff. You can click on any of these categories and choose to send a little voting love my way.  And, you can also check out some other blogs in these categories as well!  It’s a great networking tool!

I’m not sure what the winners receive, but I’m sure it’s something like the Holy Grail, Tom Hanks’ toupee, and the original painting of the Mona Lisa…I think…

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And while you’re at it, why don’t you vote for 20 Prospect in the Hottest Daddy Blogger category? I stumbled onto his site while reading one of my current subscriptions, and any guy who gives out Unicorns Humping Leg Lamp Awards is a-okay in my book.

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I’m just discovering the in’s and out’s of his blog, but he recently published a beautifully written post on love, loss, and everything in between.  I was so moved by his writing that I absolutely had to feature him during my Friday post.  Suffice it to say, I had to break out the tissue box, AND the Swiss chocolates to recover.

So, strap on your hiking gear, dear readers!  For What the #FF?!? Friday, we’re taking a field trip over to 20 Prospect’s blog and reading his article “Bridgeport Ferry.” I hope you’ve turned in all your permission slips…last one to the bus is a moldy tub of Cool Whip!


To learn more about the Blogger’s Choice Awards, click here.

To read 20 Prospect’s blog, click here.

Prompter’s Roulette: Ode to a Stale Cookie

Welcome back to another Plinky Prompts Thursday! I am your host, Aunt Bethany, and I’ll be—

What?!? We’ve re-named our traditional Thursday posts?  Why didn’t anyone tell me? God, this is embarrassing…of all the stupid, inconsiderate mistakes…

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Forgive me for the error, but it appears that we here at Miracle on 32nd Street will be labeling our Thursday prompt-centered posts as Prompter’s Roulette posts, a change from our usual Plinky Prompt Thursday posts.

As of late, I’ve been taking prompts from several different websites (not just Plinky), and it seemed erroneous to label my Thursday prompts as Plinky.  I’ll still be drawing from that website, but now I have the option to pick and choose between the prompts that land at my feet…kind of like Roulette.  I don’t know what I’m getting, but I’ll write on just about anything!

So, without further adoring Justin Bieber fans, I present to you my prompt for the week, straight from Mama Kat’s Pretty Much World Famous Writer’s Workshop:

2.) Write a love poem to a favorite food.


Ode to a Stale Cookie

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I remember life, flavor, zest

A presence of spirit, an offering of comfort

You, with your ruby red gems and your bittersweet memories,

You…you…gave up on me too soon


Life was a bowlful of cherries

(and eggs and sugar and flour and butter)

From humble beginnings, you molded yourself into a raw, doughy being,

not strong enough yet to stand


Decorating yourself with the darkest of chocolates and the richest of berries,

you separated yourself from the rest of the pack,

whittling and rounding your rough edges

into a sphere of endless possibility


You sat patiently, enduring heat and strife,

growing harder to the world as each minute passed

And, at 12 minutes old, you emerged from the fire

in a blaze of triumph and glory


You were volatile and hot, and scalded my hands

I waited for you with excitement and love

And when finally, you cooled to my sensitive touch,

you caressed my lips, and my joy became real


I was smitten with you, as you were with me

Every morning I indulged in some of your clones

But, as our courtship progressed, you grew distant and cold

And quickly our love began to fade


Your touch was so hard, your spirit was mute

Extra effort was needing to enjoy every bite

I gave you my all, I dunked you in milk,

until one day, you broke me, and chipped my front teeth


Now, I’m left with the memory of our love affair

I’ll never be whole, my heart is now changed

I’ll cry over you as you sit in the trash,

lamenting our—wait, is that cake?!?

Mama's Losin' It

I Let the Light In

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I let the light in today

Tossed aside the shades and drew the windows wide,

to glimpse upon a beam of golden hope,

a ray of brilliance amidst the dark winter cold


I never had dared let the light in before

For fear that it wouldn’t be mine to keep

A well-guarded window kept safe all I guarded,

a shade to protect against all I held dear


Yet, a small, quiet voice urged me onward today

Steeling my courage, making me bold

And I stepped out from darkness to look at the sky

A sight I had dreamed of, but never pursued


The light was dazzling, although small

peaking through the clouds, daring to shine

It flickered with uncertainty, almost disappearing

A glimmer of promise…but, the light was there


My eyes rebelled at the glorious sight,

for no light had ever shone like this before

So, I silenced my mind, and opened my heart

And took every ounce of it in


I gazed at the light, embracing its warmth,

and the joy that I felt grew inside

I let myself dream, and I let my heart dance

and my soul felt complete and whole


And my spirit knew true happiness

as I dared to indulge in this dream

But I knew, how I knew, that the light could not stay,

and the clouds gently took it away


A sigh of resignation escaped my lips.

I knew I had stolen a moment or two

with a light that inspired me, thrilled me, warmed me

A moment of hope amidst a season of gray


I let myself take just a minute or two

to delight in the thoughts of all that could be

I let the light in for a second today

to imagine what joy and bliss true love could bring.


Welcome to my second addition of poetry to the site!  Here’s a poem that actually was part of a larger work, but I decided to ultimately cut that down and make two different poems.  It’s counterpart will focus around a meadow scene, so be sure to look for that one in the upcoming weeks.  Ideally, I’d love to edit this one and adapt it to fit a solid rhyming scheme.  I just had to get these thoughts down last night, and I knew that if I became too concerned with rhyming, I wouldn’t be as articulate and truthful with my words.

The picture above is also mine.  It was taken around sunset, in a moving car, while riding to Cleveland, Ohio…the sun was a lovely winter gold that afternoon.

Happy reading, all!

Public Service Announcement: Hanger Safety

As a service to the public and to the members of the Blog-O-Sphere, Miracle on 32nd Street will now regularly partake in selected Public Service Announcements.  It is an undertaking I feel will help alert the masses to hidden dangers lurking in unforeseen locations.  I have to believe that all time spent on this endeavor is no time wasted, and it is my fervent wish that you all will support me in this.


P.S.A. #1:  Hanger Safety

Mankind has long been the manufacturer of many products which have, inadvertently, become serious safety and health hazards.  Cars can swiftly transfer us from one destination to another, but traffic-related injuries are staggering.  Fires can keep us warm and prepare our meals, but our invented heat can scald as fast as it can boil.  Electricity illuminates our lamps, but can deliver a fatal shock in the blink of an eye.  And burritos, while satisfying and delicious, can wreak unfathomable havoc on our digestive systems.

Guacamole

I shouldn't have asked for that extra side of guacamole...

Photo by J-Cliff

Today’s P.S.A. highlights a lurking danger in millions of homes across America.  This danger lures many to employ it on a regular basis.  No…not Peanut M&Ms.  No…not DVDs featuring Pauley Shore.  The danger I speak of…are hangers.

Clothing

Approach with caution.

Photo by Manne-King

Nay, not airplane hangars…clothing hangers.  These seemingly harmless inventions are responsible for worldwide closet organization, but are also the harbingers of angst, frustration, and severe humiliation.  Don’t believe me?  Watch below and see for yourself:

Hangars: Man-Made Death Traps

Do you notice the fear and self-loathing in her eyes?  Do you see how she can barely look at me when I ask her questions?  And do you see the sheer humiliation in her face when she relegates herself back to her own crate?  This is madness, I say.  Utter madness.

I urge you to take special precautions when dealing with clothing hangers of any variety (yes, even the kinds that look like satin pillows…they are the most deadly):

Closet

Don't be fooled by their shimmery glow.

Photo from Only Hangars

Reckless behavior around these objects can result in gouged eyeballs, wrinkled clothes, trapped animals, and stolen vehicles.  Approach all hangers with extreme caution and do not provoke them.  Behavior specialists claim that hangers act favorably towards being hung on a suspended pole in a dark, secure area, and appreciate long, billowy layers of fabric on their beings.  Great attention to these details will ensure a safe household, and a safe America.

This has been a P.S.A., brought to you by Miracle on 32nd Street, in partnership with All Things Fnkybee and The Edmonton Tourist.  Safe living, America!

Hangars

This is an Un-Post

Nope.  No real posts here.

Nada.

Zilch.

Zip.

Zero.

If you’re looking for a real post, try Chase’s latest conversation with his two-year-old. Or Kuhlair’s blog, which features some really awesome pics of the Trevi Fountain in Rome. Or, heck…stumble on over to Clay’s site for an interesting article about Katy Perry and Kelly Clarkson (if you can survive the eye rolls and disgusted sighs that you just did….honestly…it’s a great post).

But, alas…this is not a real post…this is an un-post…the by-product of a busy weekend, filled with rehearsals, voice lessons, vomiting dogs, baked burritos, snore-inducing sermons, Wal-Mart runs, and Moulin Rouge viewings.  I had every intent to write a post today…but, life just got in the way.

So, if a blogger intends to write a post in a forest, and no one sees a post, do they still get credit, hits, and a chance to be Freshly Pressed?!?  Ehh…probably not.

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I was going to write you poetry, dear readers.  I was going to wax nostalgic about past trips to Italy and NYC.  I was going to write another Stick Figure Movie Reviewabout the cotton candy rom-com Letters to Juliet. But, instead I:

1.) Drank two huge glasses of wine

2.) Cleaned up pet stains on my carpets with Oxy-Clean

3.) Did the Saturday Night Fever dance move 37 times at a rehearsal

4.) Indulged in a Baja Chalupa from Taco Bell

5.) Wrote a to-do list while in church, “listening” to a sermon

6.) Steamed my laundry while listening to the recording of Dreamgirls

7.) Ate Baby Back Ribs flavored potato chips for dinner

So, as you can see, I had a massively productive weekend, and that, my friends, is why I cannot offer you anything substantive or worthwhile today.  What I can offer you is this:

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It’s funny because the cat is wearing a hat!

Or this…

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I bet he never leaves the house.

Or even this golden nugget…

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Kind of a convenient place for a Lost-and-Found…

But I can, and will not, be able to offer you any worthwhile post today, featuring funny images, a recap of my weekend, and light banter between author and reader…

 

Wait…