As the month of December rolls in like a lion, snow has begun to blanket the ground, carols are taking over the airwaves…and Christmas decoration abuse has begun.
Gone are the days where serene, tranquil white orbs of peace dotted the soft pines of trees and bushes. Memories of candles lining each window with simple, elegant wooden reindeer mingling about snow-covered lawns are but a distant dream. These shattered fantasies of tasteful décor were wrecked by one thing, and by one thing only: inflation.
And I’m not talking about the epidemic that can really screw up our economy. Nay, I’m talking about the type of inflation that can make Santa billow up to 2-stories tall with his entire entourage of eight tiny reindeer to boot. Yes, that’s right…I’m talking about inflatable lawn ornaments.
Cue theme from Psycho...
When did my most cherished holiday become so gaudy? How on Earth does a giant balloon Grinch win a place next to a lopsided Frosty the Snowman? And, when these decorations aren’t full of air during the day, should little children really be forced to see a deflated Santa, lying pathetically prostrate on the ground?
He's gotta lay off the sauce...
Miracle on 32nd Street 