I have a confession to make…

I will be writing absolutely nothing of any worth this week!

NOTHING!

It's neon so it's official.

Don’t expect greatness this week, dear readers.  Heck, don’t even expect mediocrity.  This week, I’m going for rock bottom!  No holds barred!  I will work my hardest to turn out absolutely nothing worth reading!

A round of Mad Libs would produce better writing.

I’m pushing myself extremely hard this week to produce a few short posts that will not be award-winning, tear-inducing, nor smile-evoking.  Any why am I working overtime to produce articles a 3-year-old could have written?  Well, I’m glad that you asked!

Why I’m Not Writing Much This Week

(A.K.A. “Excuses, Excuses, Excuses”)

1.) I’m hyped up on Zicam, Benadryl, Ibuprofen, Robitussin, Throat Coat and Chocolate

I’m sick!  Or rather, I’ve been sick since Thursday.  What started off as a nagging head cold turned into a monster which has kept my energy low and my medicine cabinet occupied.  I’ve been trying my best to rest and catch up on sleep, but life keeps chugging away…and my nose keeps running.

My typical writing time ranges anywhere from 10:00 PM-1:00 AM…not exactly a perfect time to be creative when you’re left nostril is plugged and your close friend Tylenol PM is urging you towards your pillow.

2.) I’m in a musical which opens this week!

If you’re even the tiniest familiar with theatre, you know that there are dozens of elements which go into the production of a show.  After 2 months of rehearsal, the actors, stage crew, musicians, et al enter in to what we theatre folks call “Hell Week”, a.k.a “Tech Week.”

Tech Week: (noun) the four rehearsals leading up to opening night of a show; costumes, lighting, sound, microphones and  pit musicians are all added during this week, causing anxiety, stress, nervous, breakdowns, tears, and hysterical whimpering to all involved; copious amounts of wine, beer, and/or sleep are needed during this time

So, as you can assume, my #1 Reason for not blogging a lot this week does NOT go well with my #2 Reason.  Being sick during a tech week is like having to do jury duty while you’re giving birth.  It’s ain’t pretty.

Plus, my voice has dropped nearly an octave…I sound like a drag queen after a really rough evening involving alcohol, string cheese, and a Super Soaker gun…don’t ask.  Because my part in the show requires a lot of singing, I’ve gotta rest up for opening night on Thursday.

3.) I got a substitute teaching gig!

Yep, that’s right!  I got dealt some pretty lucky cards, and I will be filling in as a music sub on Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday of this week.  Which means that, on those days,  from 7:20 AM –2:35 PM, I will be purposely adding more stress to my body on a week where it would much rather stay in bed and eat bon bons.  Still, I’m not complaining! Work is work!

So there you have it! Three solid reasons why you may discover sub-par postings from me this week.  I’m not dead, I haven’t moved to Hawaii (although I’d like to), I’m not on some secret CIA mission, and I’m not in rehab (Charlie Sheen beat me to it).

I apologize in advance on a commenting front as well:  I’m purposely making myself take some time away from the computer in order to let my body get some decent sleep at night, which means that I won’t be reading many articles this week.  Trust me, to quote from one of my favorite movies, The Godfather, “it’s not personal, it’s business.”

So, there you have it.  Oh, and one more thing…

Leave the gun, take the cannoli…

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How to Be an Outstanding Teacher: Plinky Prompts Thursday

Welcome back to another round of Plinky Prompts Thursday! If you’re just tuning in for the first time, each week I will select a writing prompt from www.plinky.com and post it every Thursday for your viewing pleasure.

This week’s prompt, however, is surprisingly not from Plinky.

THAT'S not a Plinky Prompt!

Yes, Denny…that’s right.  This week’s prompt is from another source, outside of Plinky.  It’s short, it’s brief, and it’s to the point.  Please don’t keep me from watching reruns of Boston Legal, okay?

I’m currently in the process of applying for substitute teaching jobs in the area.   With any application process, there will inevitably be a few questions which require writing samples from the applicants.  My teaching application is no different.  The paperwork requires three different “essays” to be answered, and I completed one yesterday, just in time for Plinky Prompts Thursday.  So, with no further delay, I present to you…the prompt:

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Describe the skills or attributes you believe are necessary to be an outstanding teacher.

In life, when you are passionate about an endeavor, you pursue a course of action which directly leads you closer to that interest. To become a professional in any type of venture, constant practice is required to hone your skills and become a master at your craft. To excel, you must be willing to accept advice and constantly yearn to learn more. One cannot be a source of inspiration to others without experience and true passion.

Teachers, like any other skilled artists, must combine their experiences with passion to foster an outstanding classroom environment. They must serve as eager encyclopedias to their students, willing to share knowledge on a specific content area with enthusiasm and spirit. They must act as optimistic fortune tellers, constantly encouraging students onward to success through realization their own potential.

Educators must also be active practitioners in their field of study. Students are extremely accurate esteem barometers; they offer respect when respect is due. Young mind are more inspired to learn when their instructors exude a professional work ethic, constantly sharpen their skills, and continue to cultivate their talents.

To teach, you must inspire…but to inspire, you must teach with enthusiasm, which is an attribute all outstanding educators must possess. Students thrive off of ardent mentors who embody excitement and zest. Of all the hats a teacher must wear, the role of “inspiration advocate” is one of the most important. You must be willing to proudly share your love of learning with your students, who will undoubtedly recognize a teacher with true passion and devotion for what they do.

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Well, what do you think?  I’m very open to suggestions on how to improve my response, since this will be my official “Hi-there-and-hello” to my perspective employers.  What could I add?  What could I subtract?  And should I insert a portfolio of my Stick Figure Movie Reviews along with it?!?  What say you, William Shatner?

DENNY CRANE!

That’s what I thought you’d say…

Thanksgiving-Palooza: Part 5…Finishing the Leftovers

You know Thanksgiving-Palooza is coming to a close when your “Thanksgiving Hoagie” ingredients are dwindling away:

1 sandwich bun

3 slices turkey meat

2 scoops stuffing

1 dollop cranberry sauce

1 tbsp mayo

Lettuce and Tomatoes

Or, in Lehman’s terms: the leftovers are gone and Thanksgiving is over…yes, you may shed a collective Internet tear here.

To put the stuffing sandwiches and cranberry-turkey-sweet potato milkshakes to bed (don’t ask), I will close out my first annual Thanksgiving-Palooza with an official top-ten list of things I am grateful for this holiday season.  And no…the Thanksgiving Hoagie is not one of those things, although it’s now an intrinsic staple to my diet.

Aunt Bethany’s Thanksgiving-Palooza Gratitude List 2010

OR

Reasons Why I’m Still Kicking

10. I am grateful to have stumbled upon WordPress.com nearly a month ago and discovered the world of Blogging.  Since that time, I’ve uncovered a new world of creative expression that has changed me as a person, as a writer, and as a friend.  I am equally as grateful for the online contacts I’ve made through the process, especially The Edmonton Tourist, Ferabeth, SisterMerryHeliish, Chase MacFadden, and Uncle Lewis, to name a few.  Blogging is now a part of my life now, and I’m uber-excited to see where it leads.