What the #FF?!?: A Site, A Clip, and A Burger

Breathe easy, my friends…it’s Friday!  Because you’ve bravely survived the workweek, fed the kids, paid the bills, shoveled the snow, and listened to Britney Spears’ latest contribution, I’ve got a great What the #FF?!? feature for you today.

A Site

Yesterday, I dove further down the writing rabbit hole and took part in my very first writers’ workshop.  Mama Kat, over at Mama Kat’s Losin’ It, hosts a weekly forum for writers, which offers 4-5 writing prompts for her participants.  Not only is Mama Kat’s workshop an unbelievable contribution to the Blog-O-Sphere, but she runs an awesome website as well.  She’s funny, irreverent, and poignant in her posts…as she is in her photography, cartoons, videos, and letters to Ellen DeGeneres.  Plus, I’m just enthralled with her website design!  It reminds me of a luscious red velvet cupcake, with extra frosting and sprinkles on top.  She’s a blogger I really admire, and I aspire to become just like her someday…if I ever grow up.  She’s got writing chops, hysterical cartoons, elegant poetry, and a welcoming spirit which inspires and provokes great writing.

For her writing challenge, I took the prompt of “10 reasons I could never be friends with______” and waxed about my distaste for my fair-weather acquaintances, snowmen.  You can read the post here!

A Clip

Ever stumble upon something that simultaneously makes you go “What the?!” and “This is the funniest thing I’ve seen all month”? Jenny Slate, of SNL fame, created a short video clip with her director-boyfriend Dean Fleischer-Camp called “Marcel the Shell with Shoes On.” I really don’t need to say any more.  Just watch the clip, and get your Depends ready.

My favorite part is the lint.

I hang glide on a Dorito.  Go ahead.  You’re already picturing that little peanut sky surfing on a potato chip.  I can only hope and pray that they make more video clips of Marcel.  To learn more about his creation and his creators, click here.

A Burger

Have you ever been so moved by something that it makes you weep with tears of pure joy?  Have you ever known true bliss?  If you have, then I’m sure you’ve tasted a burger from Five Guys Burgers and Fries.

On Wednesday, I was preparing for yet another rehearsal across town, having eaten no dinner and expecting no meal until at least 10 PM.  My stomach was angry with me, I was cranky, and combustion seemed imminent…until Uncle Lewis brought me an offering from Five Guys.

 

Uncle Lewis:  I brought you a burger and fries

Aunt Bethany:  Great, I’ll eat it after yoga…wh-why are you staring at me like that?

Uncle Lewis:  You’re going to want to eat it now…*drool drool drool*

Aunt Bethany:  Why?  It’s just a burger, right?

 

WRONG!  It is not just a burger, dear friends:  it’s heaven in a wrapper.  When I finally sunk my teeth into my bacon cheeseburger, my mouth exploded with applause, and my stomach bowed down to Uncle Lewis.  Not only that, but they give you massive amounts of french fries (a staple in my diet).  When you open your bag, fries are scattered all over the place, as they’ve placed an extra scoop on top of your entire order.

CAUTION:  These meals are not for the faint of heart.  They feature a lot of grease, a lot of calories, and a lot of ecstasy.  You have been warned.  They also offer hot dogs and milkshakes.  Find your nearest Five Guys and run, I say, RUN to it.

So, go!  Eat!  Drink!  And be merry!  But whatever you do, have a great weekend!

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I Want Magic

I want something magical to happen.

Do you ever find yourself wishing that the impossible wasn’t so impossible?  Do you sit at home, late at night, fantasizing about scenarios so extraordinary that they might have been penned by J.K. Rowling?

Maybe it’s because it’s the middle of January…maybe it’s because I haven’t seen lush, green grass for a few months…or maybe it’s because it’s that time of year devoid of Christmas lights or any exciting holidays approaching.  Whatever it is, I need something magical to happen.  Something wonderful…and magnificent…and positively surprising.

I want to put my faith in something inconceivable.  I need some kind of wonderful to waltz into my dance.  I crave adventure—swashbuckling pirates, ride-able dragons, magic wands, hidden worlds—something, anything to sweep me off my feet.

I want to be awed.  I want to marvel.  I want to be so caught up in the moment that I forget to breathe.  I want to be moved.

I need a taste of summer during this long, fretful winter.  I need to know that the days will speed by and the familiar breezes of spring will flit through the cherry blossoms once again.  I need to revisit the smell of the wind off the lake, and soak up the aroma after a thunderstorm.  I need to know I’ll find that summer sun once again.

I need to know that there’s a reason for enduring the bitter cold.  I need encouragement to wait out the storm, to see where the last snowflakes fly.  If braving the ice and sleet guarantees a sweet reawakening in the spring, I will gladly bare all blizzards that pass my way…because, when blizzards finish their attack, they always, always leave behind a beautiful, shining scene.

I need to believe in something wonderful.  I want to believe in the impossible.  I trust in a power no one can define.

I hope…

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A very, very happy birthday to Uncle Lewis, who turned the tender young age of 85 yesterday!  I’d personally like to dedicate the newly renovated blog theme to him, which is entitled Spring Loaded.  Uncle Lewis, you continue to amaze me, in every way shape and form.  I want to shout it to the world!

Frosty was a Comedian

Need a little “ho, ho, ho” in your day?  This morning, The Mom sent me an email (no, not a forward or one that prompts you to send to 15 friends within the next 30 minutes to have all your wishes come true) containing these following cartoons.  After some snooping around, I have determined that these sketches are from a cartoon series called Tundra Comics, by Chad Carpenter.  They provided me with a much needed giggle this afternoon, and they offer a moment of light-hearted humor, just before this week starts to spiral towards chaos and insanity…a.k.a. my family coming over for the holidays. 

I hope that your holidays are starting to come together!  Stay tuned for a series of Christmas posts starting tomorrow and extending throughout the weekend.  Merry Christmas!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Easy as Apple Pie

I’m easy….

I'll see you in the bedroom as soon as I can stand up.

No, no Uncle Lewis!  Put your pants back on!  I’m not THAT kind of easy.

Now, where was I?  Oh yes…I’m easy, meaning “easy to please,” especially when it comes to food.  Little Caesar’s Hot-N-Ready pizza, Quizno’s subs, McDonald’s milk shakes…I find gourmet pleasure in the simplest places.

The luck of the Irish starts with the Shamrock Shake.

Now, I’m not saying that I don’t have refined cuisine tastes, either.  I adore a smattering of sushi, a fine glass of Riesling, and a raspberry hazelnut cheesecake with Chambord for dessert.  I’ve had the good fortune to dine at Bobby Flay’s restaurant, savor thin crust flatbread from Italy, and cherish a well made risotto.  But, I’m easily satiated when it’s just me, myself and I at home.

I realized today, however, that my diet staples may evoke confusion amidst even the least finicky.  I didn’t ponder the oddities that fill my kitchen weekly until I had a friend over for lunch today, and attempted to offer him a favorite delicacy of mine.  Allow me to elaborate!

Item #1:  Freezer Pizza Because I a.) live alone, and b.) have a deep affinity for all things pizza, I wind up with an ample amount of leftovers.  Living in NYC for 2 years and being a college student for 8 has taught me one thing:  waste not, want not.  It became habitual for me to take leftovers, place them into Ziplock containers, and file them away in the confines of my freezer, ne’er to be seen for weeks, months, and sometimes years.  I guess you could say that I have the Mary Poppins Freezer:  I can stick my hand inside of it and literally pull out any dish from any cuisine…it’s a bottomless fridge of wonder.

I don't need a spoonful of sugar...just give me a bottle of wine.