Posts Tagged ‘snow storms’

Baby, It’s Cold Outside!

HELP!

snowbank

Send supplies, St. Bernard's, and Hugh Jackman.

This is an emergency alert!  For the past two days, I’ve been stuck in a 6-foot snow bank created from a massive, killer snow storm which has been attacking the area!  (No, reallycheck out MSNBC’s coverage of the event) With crude materials I’ve collected from my car, I’ve managed to make a rudimentary radio transmitter with an add-on EZ Bake Oven, Slinky, inflatable life boat, and a 50” Plasma TV, in hopes that my message may reach someone before I submit to frostbite and hypothermia.

I, of course, could not get my transmission up and running until today.  I’ve had to power my communication station with fuel power from burned Twinkies, empty bottles of Diet Coke, stale French fries from McDonald’s, and an errant midget who just happened to stumble into my snow bank.

image

Burn, Lollipop Guild, burn...

So, you see, dear readers, because of my misfortunate face-off with a blizzard, I was unable to create a new post for two days.  Truly…the only reason for no new updates was because I was stuck frozen in a ditch, unable to move or make contact with the outside world, a la Hans Solo frozen in Carbonite.

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I bet HE wasn't freezing his bum off, though.

You believe me…right?!?

Ya gotta believe me, I swear…