Stick Figure Movie Review: “The King’s Speech”

Welcome to the second installment of the Stick Figure Movie Review.  If you’re just tuning into our regularly scheduled programming, I will occasionally review a movie with the help of a faithful cast of stick figure actors, who are paid in cabbages and smelling salts (don’t worry, they have a great deal with their actor’s union).  Click here for the first installment of this series, which featured the big Oscar contender “Black Swan.”

Without further ado, I present to you the Stick Figure Movie Review of…

THE KING’S SPEECH

Our film tells the story of three fine and upstanding British actors, all who, at one point or another, have appeared in one of the 47 Harry Potter films to date.  Those refusing to appear in these movies will never win Oscars (I’m looking at YOU, Colin Firth…you’re lucky you appeared in Love, Actually).

Prince Albert, son of King George V, is cursed with a terrible stammering problem, which subsequently results in tremendous angst, whiny tantrums, and overly furrowed brows.  Tim Burton’s wife finds Prince Albert a speech therapist, Lionel Logue, who happens to be an actor, a pirate, AND Geoffrey Rush, all in one.

Prince Albert does not believe Logue can cure him of his speech disorder, but Logue perseveres, claiming he can fix his stammer through the use of expletives, Shakespeare, and Lady Gaga.

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Oh-Woe-Is-Me-Day:  (n.) a dreary, depressing day where the victim is prone to spontaneous crying and bouts of self-pity; the victim may attempt to fish for compliments, wall herself up in her own apartment, and imbibe an entire bottle of Little Penguin Shiraz in the span of 3 hours; causes of such a day may include irritating co-workers, break-ups on Christmas (true story), continued “Single” status on Facebook, no time to pee, the Apocalypse, losing a limb, and/or decapitation; remedies may include several episodes of Grey’s Anatomy, a hot bubble bath, phone calls to The Mom, and either the Hallmark or Lifetime channel; Oprah works, too.

No free trips given away on this blog!

Needless to say, yesterday found me battling against such a day.  I struggled through a long day of student teaching, rushed home to teach 5 voice lessons over the span of 3 hours, and dealt with some personal issues to put a nice bow on the fantastic present that was Thursday.  Oh, and my dog threw up in my bed.  Thanks, Bailey…

Don't give me that "I didn't toss my cookies in bed" look...

 

All in all, though, my day really wasn’t that bad.  Many, many, many worse things could have happened, and for that fact, I am grateful.  I am healthy.  I have all my fingers.  And teeth.  That alone is a cause for celebration!

Grin and bear it!

So, by 7:00 PM, I threw off the stresses of my day and indulged in pasta, red wine, and a bubble bath (not at the same time, although my wine glass did accompany me to my “spa”…I have jacuzzi jets in my tub!)  I even brought along my phone to call up The Mom.

Carbs + Alcohol + Mr. Bubbles + The Mom = Therapy

Little did I know my tranquil rehabilitation would be interrupted by an evil previously thought vanquished from my life.  What kind of monster attempts to get a hold of me through The Mom?

The Mom:  …well, if it’s late, I don’t want you driving home (frequent topic of our conversation).  Oh!  By the way…guess who called here looking for you?

Me: Who?

The Mom: The New York Philharmonic…

No!  Not the New York Philharmonic!  To quote from the movie Hook: “My great and worthy opponent!”

BANGARANG!