This is an Un-Post

Nope.  No real posts here.

Nada.

Zilch.

Zip.

Zero.

If you’re looking for a real post, try Chase’s latest conversation with his two-year-old. Or Kuhlair’s blog, which features some really awesome pics of the Trevi Fountain in Rome. Or, heck…stumble on over to Clay’s site for an interesting article about Katy Perry and Kelly Clarkson (if you can survive the eye rolls and disgusted sighs that you just did….honestly…it’s a great post).

But, alas…this is not a real post…this is an un-post…the by-product of a busy weekend, filled with rehearsals, voice lessons, vomiting dogs, baked burritos, snore-inducing sermons, Wal-Mart runs, and Moulin Rouge viewings.  I had every intent to write a post today…but, life just got in the way.

So, if a blogger intends to write a post in a forest, and no one sees a post, do they still get credit, hits, and a chance to be Freshly Pressed?!?  Ehh…probably not.

I was going to write you poetry, dear readers.  I was going to wax nostalgic about past trips to Italy and NYC.  I was going to write another Stick Figure Movie Reviewabout the cotton candy rom-com Letters to Juliet. But, instead I:

1.) Drank two huge glasses of wine

2.) Cleaned up pet stains on my carpets with Oxy-Clean

3.) Did the Saturday Night Fever dance move 37 times at a rehearsal

4.) Indulged in a Baja Chalupa from Taco Bell

5.) Wrote a to-do list while in church, “listening” to a sermon

6.) Steamed my laundry while listening to the recording of Dreamgirls

7.) Ate Baby Back Ribs flavored potato chips for dinner

So, as you can see, I had a massively productive weekend, and that, my friends, is why I cannot offer you anything substantive or worthwhile today.  What I can offer you is this:

It’s funny because the cat is wearing a hat!

Or this…

I bet he never leaves the house.

Or even this golden nugget…

Kind of a convenient place for a Lost-and-Found…

But I can, and will not, be able to offer you any worthwhile post today, featuring funny images, a recap of my weekend, and light banter between author and reader…

 

Wait…

 

 

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Someone Who Deserves More Credit: Plinky Prompts Thursday

For nearly 30 years, one man has tirelessly struggled and fought against the evils of the world, often receiving no appreciation or gratitude in return. His quest for justice has often brought him up against incredible foes, as well as steadfast friends. He has traveled the world in the face of incredible odds, all for the love of one woman. He is a champion of the weak and mistreated, and rarely receives the recognition he deserves. The man, the warrior, the legend…is none other than Super Mario.

It may come as a surprise to some, but our unlikely hero rose to greatness out of very humble beginnings. Mario originally hailed from New York City, where he worked as a landlord and a free-lance plumber. His brother and roommate, Luigi, often accompanied him on his plumbing endeavors, but spent most of his time serving as a food critic for Italian-American restaurants.

Mario was hailed for his plumbing prowess all throughout Little Italy, earning the nickname “Jumpman” from close friends and family, but his reputation rose to national attention in 1983 when the sewers of New York City were invaded by dangerous creatures of an unknown origin. When riding the 1 Train on the NYC Metro Transit one summer afternoon, Mario debarked at the Houston Street stop, on his way to an emergency plumbing call. As he was leaving the train car, however, he spied an unusual four-legged turtle scurrying about the tracks. A set of red, beady eyes stared back at him…and then two sets, and three, and ten. The entire subway stop was filled with vermin, who looked intent on overtaking the subway platform and the citizens who lingered there. With only seconds to act and turtles encroaching on his position, Mario sent a flying kick to the nearest creature, which surprisingly flattened the monster on its back…rendering it incapacitated.

The other turtles looked at each other in alarm: how had the plumber guessed their weakness? The remaining nine creatures cowered in fear…how had their well-guarded secret become exposed? Only their clan knew that falling prostrate onto their shells would leave them powerless. A second kick would knock them out completely. They could not risk an encounter with such a worthy foe. The turtles immediately retreated further into the sewer, leaving Mario as a confused and lauded hero.

Making Christmas

In the movie “The Nightmare Before Christmas,” Tim Burton elegantly weaves a story about the inhabitants of Halloween Town, a fictional land where Halloween reigns supreme, all day, every day.  The town is led by Jack Skellington, a.k.a. “The Pumpkin King,” who accidentally stumbles upon a secret portal to Christmas Town, a land filled with snow, sweets, and Santa Claus himself.

Jack is enthralled with this odd land of merriment and joy, two emotions which are counter to the ennui and melancholy his character begins the film with.  He quickly decides to remedy his growing unease by incorporating elements of Christmas Town into his world, and encourages his friends and fiends to follow suit.

In the song “Making Christmas,” the residents of Halloween Town show how they plan to present their version of Christmas, despite the fact that their vision of the holiday is slightly skewed.  Watch below:

“Making Christmas” from “The Nightmare Before Christmas”

Over the weekend, I was reminded of this song as I began to contemplate my own lot during the holiday season.  I found myself feeling somewhat like Jack, the main protagonist of the story, who begins the movie dealing with a gaping emotional void and no foreseeable remedy.

Now, I am neither a skeleton nor depressed, but I have come to discover a growing emptiness in my heart around the holiday season.  I don’t love Christmas any less, mind you.  On the contrary, it still remains as my most treasured holiday and favorite time of the year…but, due to the inevitable changes of time/destiny/fate, Christmas is just not what it used to be anymore.

Easy as Apple Pie

I’m easy….

I'll see you in the bedroom as soon as I can stand up.

No, no Uncle Lewis!  Put your pants back on!  I’m not THAT kind of easy.

Now, where was I?  Oh yes…I’m easy, meaning “easy to please,” especially when it comes to food.  Little Caesar’s Hot-N-Ready pizza, Quizno’s subs, McDonald’s milk shakes…I find gourmet pleasure in the simplest places.

The luck of the Irish starts with the Shamrock Shake.

Now, I’m not saying that I don’t have refined cuisine tastes, either.  I adore a smattering of sushi, a fine glass of Riesling, and a raspberry hazelnut cheesecake with Chambord for dessert.  I’ve had the good fortune to dine at Bobby Flay’s restaurant, savor thin crust flatbread from Italy, and cherish a well made risotto.  But, I’m easily satiated when it’s just me, myself and I at home.

I realized today, however, that my diet staples may evoke confusion amidst even the least finicky.  I didn’t ponder the oddities that fill my kitchen weekly until I had a friend over for lunch today, and attempted to offer him a favorite delicacy of mine.  Allow me to elaborate!

Item #1:  Freezer Pizza Because I a.) live alone, and b.) have a deep affinity for all things pizza, I wind up with an ample amount of leftovers.  Living in NYC for 2 years and being a college student for 8 has taught me one thing:  waste not, want not.  It became habitual for me to take leftovers, place them into Ziplock containers, and file them away in the confines of my freezer, ne’er to be seen for weeks, months, and sometimes years.  I guess you could say that I have the Mary Poppins Freezer:  I can stick my hand inside of it and literally pull out any dish from any cuisine…it’s a bottomless fridge of wonder.

I don't need a spoonful of sugar...just give me a bottle of wine.