Stick Figure Movie Review: “The King’s Speech”

Welcome to the second installment of the Stick Figure Movie Review.  If you’re just tuning into our regularly scheduled programming, I will occasionally review a movie with the help of a faithful cast of stick figure actors, who are paid in cabbages and smelling salts (don’t worry, they have a great deal with their actor’s union).  Click here for the first installment of this series, which featured the big Oscar contender “Black Swan.”

Without further ado, I present to you the Stick Figure Movie Review of…

THE KING’S SPEECH

Our film tells the story of three fine and upstanding British actors, all who, at one point or another, have appeared in one of the 47 Harry Potter films to date.  Those refusing to appear in these movies will never win Oscars (I’m looking at YOU, Colin Firth…you’re lucky you appeared in Love, Actually).

Prince Albert, son of King George V, is cursed with a terrible stammering problem, which subsequently results in tremendous angst, whiny tantrums, and overly furrowed brows.  Tim Burton’s wife finds Prince Albert a speech therapist, Lionel Logue, who happens to be an actor, a pirate, AND Geoffrey Rush, all in one.

Prince Albert does not believe Logue can cure him of his speech disorder, but Logue perseveres, claiming he can fix his stammer through the use of expletives, Shakespeare, and Lady Gaga.

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What the #FF?!?: I’ve got a bad case of the ninjas…

What the Fudgsicle? A “What the #FF?!?” feature on a Monday, you ask?  What gives, Aunt Bethany?  Are you off your rocker?

Well, honestly…yes!  I am a bit off my rocker…or, at least, have been for the past few days.  A string of unforeseen events forced me off the Internet the past few days, which did not allow me to publish my Friday post, nor read up on all my blog subscriptions.  I won’t bore you with all of the dull, mundane details…but I will try, in one sentence, to summarize the world-turning events which led to my Internet Isolation for the past few days:

Wednesday night, I was alerted to an opening as a long-term sub, so Thursday morning, I filled out a lengthy application, finally watched Family Guy’s “It’s a Trap!”, played for a ballet class, then spent 4 hours at a rehearsal, which left no time for writing but plenty of time to plan my Friday post, which never got written because Friday I was called in to an unplanned job interview, which required me to gather odd and random documents Friday morning, and then I hastily readied myself to look presentable, played for another ballet class, and rushed across town to an informal interview at 2:00, which was followed by me giving a private piano lesson, racing across town (the other way) to a rehearsal, and then to a choral concert that night, which really exhausted me, so I crashed Friday night, got up way too early Saturday morning to complete a physical for my job interview, and gave a voice lesson later that morning, which was THEN followed by a 4 hour rehearsal and  a planned party with former cast mates, which ALSO tired me out, so I crashed until the wee hours of Sunday morning until I had to scurry off for church choir, which kept me out until mid-morning until I had to run home to give another voice lesson, prepare for my afternoon, and run across town (yep, again) for ANOTHER day of rehearsals, which kept me on the go and away from my laptop from 12-9 today, and THAT is why I was late for school…and couldn’t post my Friday article.

So, you see?  I wish I could say that I was kidnapped by a one-armed man with a spatula for a limb, or that I was abducted by crazed Yetis with blow-torches and CDs of Miley Cyrus, but I can’t.  I personally think a Yeti abduction would be thrilling.

But even Yetis understand the importance of “What the #FF?!?” Friday posts, so they have urged me to continue with mine.  Bless their poor, wild hearts.