I have a confession to make…

I will be writing absolutely nothing of any worth this week!

NOTHING!

It's neon so it's official.

Don’t expect greatness this week, dear readers.  Heck, don’t even expect mediocrity.  This week, I’m going for rock bottom!  No holds barred!  I will work my hardest to turn out absolutely nothing worth reading!

A round of Mad Libs would produce better writing.

I’m pushing myself extremely hard this week to produce a few short posts that will not be award-winning, tear-inducing, nor smile-evoking.  Any why am I working overtime to produce articles a 3-year-old could have written?  Well, I’m glad that you asked!

Why I’m Not Writing Much This Week

(A.K.A. “Excuses, Excuses, Excuses”)

1.) I’m hyped up on Zicam, Benadryl, Ibuprofen, Robitussin, Throat Coat and Chocolate

I’m sick!  Or rather, I’ve been sick since Thursday.  What started off as a nagging head cold turned into a monster which has kept my energy low and my medicine cabinet occupied.  I’ve been trying my best to rest and catch up on sleep, but life keeps chugging away…and my nose keeps running.

My typical writing time ranges anywhere from 10:00 PM-1:00 AM…not exactly a perfect time to be creative when you’re left nostril is plugged and your close friend Tylenol PM is urging you towards your pillow.

2.) I’m in a musical which opens this week!

If you’re even the tiniest familiar with theatre, you know that there are dozens of elements which go into the production of a show.  After 2 months of rehearsal, the actors, stage crew, musicians, et al enter in to what we theatre folks call “Hell Week”, a.k.a “Tech Week.”

Tech Week: (noun) the four rehearsals leading up to opening night of a show; costumes, lighting, sound, microphones and  pit musicians are all added during this week, causing anxiety, stress, nervous, breakdowns, tears, and hysterical whimpering to all involved; copious amounts of wine, beer, and/or sleep are needed during this time

So, as you can assume, my #1 Reason for not blogging a lot this week does NOT go well with my #2 Reason.  Being sick during a tech week is like having to do jury duty while you’re giving birth.  It’s ain’t pretty.

Plus, my voice has dropped nearly an octave…I sound like a drag queen after a really rough evening involving alcohol, string cheese, and a Super Soaker gun…don’t ask.  Because my part in the show requires a lot of singing, I’ve gotta rest up for opening night on Thursday.

3.) I got a substitute teaching gig!

Yep, that’s right!  I got dealt some pretty lucky cards, and I will be filling in as a music sub on Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday of this week.  Which means that, on those days,  from 7:20 AM –2:35 PM, I will be purposely adding more stress to my body on a week where it would much rather stay in bed and eat bon bons.  Still, I’m not complaining! Work is work!

So there you have it! Three solid reasons why you may discover sub-par postings from me this week.  I’m not dead, I haven’t moved to Hawaii (although I’d like to), I’m not on some secret CIA mission, and I’m not in rehab (Charlie Sheen beat me to it).

I apologize in advance on a commenting front as well:  I’m purposely making myself take some time away from the computer in order to let my body get some decent sleep at night, which means that I won’t be reading many articles this week.  Trust me, to quote from one of my favorite movies, The Godfather, “it’s not personal, it’s business.”

So, there you have it.  Oh, and one more thing…

Leave the gun, take the cannoli…

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What the #FF?!?: Blogger’s Choice Awards

LOOK!

Admittedly, I did a little P.R. work for myself yesterday.  As I was reading one of my new favorite blogs, 20 Prospect, I stumbled across a badge of his:

Intrigued, I clicked on the link and found myself at the Blogger’s Choice Awards.I began to browse the site, and realized that the good people at the B.C.A.s host an open-voting competition to filter out the true blogging gems from the rest of the rabble.

Anyone can vote, for any blog, at any time.  You are restricted to one vote per blog, but you get an unlimited number of votes.  Like a site you see?  Send them a vote.  Like their design?  Send them a vote.  Cast as many votes as you wish!

Seeing that Oprah was not about to nominate my blog anytime soon, I did a little shameless self-promotion and entered my blog in 3 categories: Best Humor Blog, Best Pop Culture Blog , and Best Blog About Stuff. You can click on any of these categories and choose to send a little voting love my way.  And, you can also check out some other blogs in these categories as well!  It’s a great networking tool!

I’m not sure what the winners receive, but I’m sure it’s something like the Holy Grail, Tom Hanks’ toupee, and the original painting of the Mona Lisa…I think…

And while you’re at it, why don’t you vote for 20 Prospect in the Hottest Daddy Blogger category? I stumbled onto his site while reading one of my current subscriptions, and any guy who gives out Unicorns Humping Leg Lamp Awards is a-okay in my book.

I’m just discovering the in’s and out’s of his blog, but he recently published a beautifully written post on love, loss, and everything in between.  I was so moved by his writing that I absolutely had to feature him during my Friday post.  Suffice it to say, I had to break out the tissue box, AND the Swiss chocolates to recover.

So, strap on your hiking gear, dear readers!  For What the #FF?!? Friday, we’re taking a field trip over to 20 Prospect’s blog and reading his article “Bridgeport Ferry.” I hope you’ve turned in all your permission slips…last one to the bus is a moldy tub of Cool Whip!

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To learn more about the Blogger’s Choice Awards, click here.

To read 20 Prospect’s blog, click here.

Prompter’s Roulette: Ode to a Stale Cookie

Welcome back to another Plinky Prompts Thursday! I am your host, Aunt Bethany, and I’ll be—

What?!? We’ve re-named our traditional Thursday posts?  Why didn’t anyone tell me? God, this is embarrassing…of all the stupid, inconsiderate mistakes…

Forgive me for the error, but it appears that we here at Miracle on 32nd Street will be labeling our Thursday prompt-centered posts as Prompter’s Roulette posts, a change from our usual Plinky Prompt Thursday posts.

As of late, I’ve been taking prompts from several different websites (not just Plinky), and it seemed erroneous to label my Thursday prompts as Plinky.  I’ll still be drawing from that website, but now I have the option to pick and choose between the prompts that land at my feet…kind of like Roulette.  I don’t know what I’m getting, but I’ll write on just about anything!

So, without further ado–ring Justin Bieber fans, I present to you my prompt for the week, straight from Mama Kat’s Pretty Much World Famous Writer’s Workshop:

2.) Write a love poem to a favorite food.

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Ode to a Stale Cookie

I remember life, flavor, zest

A presence of spirit, an offering of comfort

You, with your ruby red gems and your bittersweet memories,

You…you…gave up on me too soon

Life was a bowlful of cherries

(and eggs and sugar and flour and butter)

From humble beginnings, you molded yourself into a raw, doughy being,

not strong enough yet to stand

Decorating yourself with the darkest of chocolates and the richest of berries,

you separated yourself from the rest of the pack,

whittling and rounding your rough edges

into a sphere of endless possibility

You sat patiently, enduring heat and strife,

growing harder to the world as each minute passed

And, at 12 minutes old, you emerged from the fire

in a blaze of triumph and glory

You were volatile and hot, and scalded my hands

I waited for you with excitement and love

And when finally, you cooled to my sensitive touch,

you caressed my lips, and my joy became real

I was smitten with you, as you were with me

Every morning I indulged in some of your clones

But, as our courtship progressed, you grew distant and cold

And quickly our love began to fade

Your touch was so hard, your spirit was mute

Extra effort was needing to enjoy every bite

I gave you my all, I dunked you in milk,

until one day, you broke me, and chipped my front teeth

Now, I’m left with the memory of our love affair

I’ll never be whole, my heart is now changed

I’ll cry over you as you sit in the trash,

lamenting our—wait, is that cake?!?

I Let the Light In

I let the light in today

Tossed aside the shades and drew the windows wide,

to glimpse upon a beam of golden hope,

a ray of brilliance amidst the dark winter cold

I never had dared let the light in before

For fear that it wouldn’t be mine to keep

A well-guarded window kept safe all I guarded,

a shade to protect against all I held dear

Yet, a small, quiet voice urged me onward today

Steeling my courage, making me bold

And I stepped out from darkness to look at the sky

A sight I had dreamed of, but never pursued

The light was dazzling, although small

peaking through the clouds, daring to shine

It flickered with uncertainty, almost disappearing

A glimmer of promise…but, the light was there

My eyes rebelled at the glorious sight,

for no light had ever shone like this before

So, I silenced my mind, and opened my heart

And took every ounce of it in

I gazed at the light, embracing its warmth,

and the joy that I felt grew inside

I let myself dream, and I let my heart dance

and my soul felt complete and whole

And my spirit knew true happiness

as I dared to indulge in this dream

But I knew, how I knew, that the light could not stay,

and the clouds gently took it away

A sigh of resignation escaped my lips.

I knew I had stolen a moment or two

with a light that inspired me, thrilled me, warmed me

A moment of hope amidst a season of gray

I let myself take just a minute or two

to delight in the thoughts of all that could be

I let the light in for a second today

to imagine what joy and bliss true love could bring.

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Welcome to my second addition of poetry to the site!  Here’s a poem that actually was part of a larger work, but I decided to ultimately cut that down and make two different poems.  It’s counterpart will focus around a meadow scene, so be sure to look for that one in the upcoming weeks.  Ideally, I’d love to edit this one and adapt it to fit a solid rhyming scheme.  I just had to get these thoughts down last night, and I knew that if I became too concerned with rhyming, I wouldn’t be as articulate and truthful with my words.

The picture above is also mine.  It was taken around sunset, in a moving car, while riding to Cleveland, Ohio…the sun was a lovely winter gold that afternoon.

Happy reading, all!