Stick Figure Movie Review: “The King’s Speech”

Welcome to the second installment of the Stick Figure Movie Review.  If you’re just tuning into our regularly scheduled programming, I will occasionally review a movie with the help of a faithful cast of stick figure actors, who are paid in cabbages and smelling salts (don’t worry, they have a great deal with their actor’s union).  Click here for the first installment of this series, which featured the big Oscar contender “Black Swan.”

Without further ado, I present to you the Stick Figure Movie Review of…

THE KING’S SPEECH

Our film tells the story of three fine and upstanding British actors, all who, at one point or another, have appeared in one of the 47 Harry Potter films to date.  Those refusing to appear in these movies will never win Oscars (I’m looking at YOU, Colin Firth…you’re lucky you appeared in Love, Actually).

King's Speech 1

Prince Albert, son of King George V, is cursed with a terrible stammering problem, which subsequently results in tremendous angst, whiny tantrums, and overly furrowed brows.  Tim Burton’s wife finds Prince Albert a speech therapist, Lionel Logue, who happens to be an actor, a pirate, AND Geoffrey Rush, all in one.

King's Speech 2

Prince Albert does not believe Logue can cure him of his speech disorder, but Logue perseveres, claiming he can fix his stammer through the use of expletives, Shakespeare, and Lady Gaga.

King's Speech 3

Logue runs the Prince through a rigorous regime of therapy, including such treatments as The Shake Weight, The Macarena, and The P90-X Workout (note: photos of shock-therapy treatment involving a taser, Kool-Aid, and Miley Cyrus albums were too explicit to show publically).

King's Speech 4

Meanwhile, King Geor—screw it—Dumbledore dies, leaving a vacant throne and two orphaned sons.  The elder, Prince David, rightly takes his place as successor and returns to the Pridelands as King Edward.

King's Speech 5

Unfortunately, King Edwards has greater schemes of champagne, extravagance, and whorish American girls, and abuses his role as high commander.  Prince Albert attempts to reason with him, but the King (uh huh uh, thank’ya very much) mocks his younger brother when he begins to stammer, AND quotes Billy Madison.

King's Speech 6

While strolling through a heavy mist (fine weather for taking a stroll, mind you), Logue and Prince Albert engage in a heated conversation.  Logue believes Albert has mad skillz and could certainly be king, which infuriates the Prince…and leaves Logue to wander aimlessly in the fog by his lonesome.

King's Speech 7

Astonishingly, King Edward abdicates the throne in order to wed a divorced American woman (where ‘s Jerry Springer when you need him?), and Prince Albert becomes the heir apparent.  He realizes that Logue was right all along, and the two reconcile over a glass of Shiraz and some Joni Mitchell albums.

King's Speech 8

Meanwhile, Winston Churchill shows off his impressive bulldog jowls….

Churchill

On the brink of World War II, Logue coaches Prince Albert (now King George VI) through a rousing speech, which rallies the people of Britain.  The pair become lifelong friends, win a few dozen Oscars, and plan to make The King’s Speech 2:  The Lingering Lisp.

King's Speech 9


In all seriousness…the individual performances in this movie were stellar.  Geoffrey Rush and Colin Firth should each win statuettes, hands-down, come Oscar night.  Helena Bonham Carter makes a great contribution as Prince Albert’s wife, and Timothy Spall IS Winston Churchill…that man is a chameleon.  The movie does drag in some spots, but the cast keeps you riveted.  Enjoy the film!

Advertisements

23 responses to this post.

  1. Hahahaha. I might never see another movie again. Your stick figures and commentary are way more entertaining!

    Reply

  2. Love the stick figure reviews, but I’ve been told to see this film and don’t want the spoiler! I’ll be back after I watch 🙂

    Reply

    • Oh, I honestly don’t think I spoil anything, especially considering you know your history, sir. It’d be like reviewing “Titanic” and trying to avoid the sinking 🙂 You knew it sank, right?

      Reply

  3. Posted by carshissbymywindow on January 19, 2011 at 1:24 pm

    Very cool! I needed a good laugh to break up the work day. I didn’t know too much about the film. I think I will have to check it out now after the stick figure review. It should be a good dollar theater movie.

    Reply

  4. Posted by Uncle Lewis on January 19, 2011 at 3:50 pm

    I love this review and your writing. You have a nack of reaching every gender and age in your posts. I think everyone young and old can relate to something in here. Is it possible that I fall in love a little more every day with your writing?

    Reply

    • And see, THIS is why I can never stop blogging, as long as you keep falling in love with me. 🙂 Remember this when I’m on my laptop at 11:38 PM nightly. I’m blogging to keep our love alive!

      Reply

  5. Drat… your review is brill!! mine is quite dull in comparison lol. (If you haven’t read it, http://willowmoonshadow.wordpress.com/2011/01/11/the-kings-speech-a-review/ )At least we both agree Colin Firth (and Geoffrey Rush) deserve Oscars for this :)I too was surprised at how good Timothy Spall was as Churchill…he did the part really well (an improvement to his role as Wormtail in the HP films) Keep up the good work and I look forward to seeing the next review 🙂

    Reply

  6. After these stick figure movie reviews, I truly feel the actual movies may be a tad bit disappointing!

    Reply

    • Oh that’s why I put a disclaimer at the end of my posts! These movies are really grand…if you can make fun of something, its either really good or really bad, right?

      Reply

  7. Rad Purple Prince Pants. That was good.

    You should create a second blog where you just do this.

    Reply

    • Thanks, Chase! I blushed when I read your comment (and showed it to my mother). She doesn’t seem to think my artistic abilities justify a second career in cartooning. I then promptly drew her a stick figure with its middle finger extended.

      I DID, however, put a tab on my top menu with a page devoted to the SFMR. Look at me, all acronym-ing and stuff. Well, shucks.

      Reply

  8. In the words of Barbie in Toy Story 2 ” you’re and artist!” submit these to the Times 🙂

    Reply

  9. I haven’t had a chance to comment until now, but seriously – Lady GaGa comment just about made me pee my pants! You are too funny!

    Reply

  10. Very clever and quite spot-on, I must admit. (Whoa…suddenly I sound British…fortunately, without a s-stammer. Oops. D-damn it…)

    Both lead actors were fantastic, but I think I was most blown away by Geoffrey Rush. We’ll see what Oscar has to say about that.

    Reply

  11. Another hilarious review. You don’t disappoint. I love this one and I haven’t seen the movie yet.

    Reply

  12. Haaaa! I just watched the trailer for this movie yesterday, and I was thinking that maybe it looked a little boring. Now I don’t even have to see the movie thanks to your depictions! hilarious!

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: