Top Ten Reasons You Should Take a Day Off From Blogging

Top Ten Reasons You Should Take a Day-Off From Blogging

10.) When friends ask you to hit the town, you tell them that you can’t, because the hours between 12:00 AM-2:00 AM are now dedicated to finishing up that pesky post in time for an 8:00 AM posting.

LATEPIC

Consequently, bags begin to form under your eyes, normal sleeping patterns are interrupted, hair becomes a tangled bird’s nest, and you enter into a zombie-like state once situated at your computer.  At this point, chocolate is the only life source.

9.) You personally know every “Freshly Pressed” blogger by name, age, height, Zodiac sign, and food allergy…AND you’re now following them all on Twitter.

jailpic

You know, there is a fine, fine line between admiration and a restraining order…

8.)  You’ve developed a callous on your index finger from pressing the “REFRESH” button on your keyboard so much.

HITPIC

Dude, if there was 67 hits thirty seconds ago, chances are…there are STILL 67 hits.

7.)  You been selected as the “Freshly Pressed” writer for the day, and, as such accolades demand, you tell all of your friends, family members, and colleagues.  A parade is thrown in your honor, an Oprah book deal has been signed, and then, at 3:21 AM, you violently roll out of bed and realize that this has all been a dream.

bedpic

Just think if you slept in bunkbeds…

6.) When you realized you HAVEN’T been picked for “Freshly Pressed,” after writing a kick-ass post and peaking with an all-time hit count, you rock silently in the corner, occasionally emitting whimpers or unintelligent sobs.

rainmainpic

If you come across such an individual, do not make direct eye contact.  This will only further irritate the individual, causing them to lash out with verbal expletives, flung poo, and roundhouse kicks, a la Chuck Norris.

5.)  When ordering your Christmas gifts on Amazon.com, you fill out your shipping information as your WordPress.com alias.

fakepic

I don’t know about you, but I’d jump at the chance to snag a Golden Ticket.

4.)  You’ve installed a WordPress app on your phone and check it every 10 minutes.  When someone asks what you’re constantly doing on your phone, you scream and yell “I’M CHECKING ON THE PRECIOUS!”

gollumpic

A rare case as displayed above in the elaborate drawing above should be dealt with EXTREME caution.  Throw the possessed individual into Mount Doom IMMEDIATELY….and Elijah Wood, while you’re at it.

3.)  You’ve made three or more posts in one day.  (TRUE STORY)

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At least The Mom’s proud…

2.)  You can’t carry on any genuine conversation because you’re too busy blogging or editing your site.

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No poop was harmed/created/destroyed during the production of this conversation.

1.)  You become so desperate to find a blog topic that you attempt to turn even the smallest things into blog subjects.

loofahpic

dependspic

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How do you appropriately tag a post on “loofahs”???


All pictures copyright ME…so, there.

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29 responses to this post.

  1. Oh this is hilarious! Great post. I would so freshly press you! Wow, That sounds kinda dirty doesn’t it? haha! 😉

    Reply

  2. Posted by Uncle Lewis on December 16, 2010 at 1:43 pm

    I laughed so hard I leaked a little. Thank you for that this morning. Now I have to change my depends.

    Reply

  3. Payment: Wonka Bars and “checking on the precious” are definitely my favs. You are so wonderfully random. Keep blogging like a madwoman!

    Reply

    • 1.) I AM a madwoman, so I will always blog like one…don’t you worry.
      2.) The Precious has gotten some good feedback today. Expect a comeback.
      3.) I only want to win a Golden Ticket if Gene Wilder promises to be there, purple velvet coat and all.

      Reply

  4. This was so hilarious!!!!…and sad…because it applies to me. All of it. Even the loofah thing. I’m not kidding.

    Reply

  5. I laughed, I cried, I pee’d my pants!

    Great post. This is a keeper.

    Blessings,

    Ava
    xox

    Reply

    • Ava,

      Here is a tissue to wipe your tears (and toilet paper to clean up your pants). I’m sorry for soiling your makeup and your underwear. I am happy to provide a laugh!

      Reply

  6. You mean we can get paid in Wonka bars?! That’s so much better than gum!

    Reply

    • As I told eduClaytion down below, I only want Wonka Bars if they come accompanied by Gene Wilder in a purple velvet suit…and a boat ride on a river of chocolate.

      Reply

  7. Great post. And now I wonder what are the pro and cons of wearing depends?

    Reply

    • Pros: never have to take a trip to the bathroom; added padding in case you fall on the ice; a big booty (for those who appreciate big booties)

      Cons: sitting in your own fecal matter; can be called “lazy”; a big booty (for those who like small, bubble butts)

      Reply

      • Imagine traveling …. kinda like that crazy astronaut chick who drove hundreds of miles with out stopping cause she was wearing a diaper…. definitely a pro!

      • A pro? Or crazy? (A crazy pro, maybe…)

      • Oh yeah … I totally forgot to ask if it would be ok if I repost your Dec 13 blog tomorrow. Ya see I got this segment on Fridays called Favorite Blog Friday and I write this little diddy and then I show off my pick of blog of the week. Is that cool?

      • Oh my goodness, YES it would be okay! That’s awesome! I am so flattered! I will even mention it in my post for tomorrow! Thanks Marina!

  8. Hi,
    Really enjoyed the post, had a good laugh. 🙂

    Reply

  9. The precious…I love it!

    Reply

  10. SNORT!!!! I love the “I pooped on your laptop.”

    I totally chortled. Love this site! So.. what happens when Christmas is over? Do you blog on another one too?

    Reply

    • Thanks for stopping by, Duane! I love well placed poop jokes. Definitely an ice breaker!

      I don’t have another blog come the New Year..I just started this in November, but I plan to continue it on the same site…just without the Random Acts of Christmas every day. Glad to meet you!

      Reply

  11. Posted by lisa on December 17, 2010 at 2:47 am

    Haha love this! Thanks for stopping by today 🙂

    Reply

  12. @auntbethany: I love No. 7. Totally hilarious!!!

    Reply

  13. Posted by Josh on December 24, 2010 at 6:58 pm

    A good entry, thanks. One should think about that more often.

    Reply

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