Top Ten Reasons You Should Take a Day-Off From Blogging
10.) When friends ask you to hit the town, you tell them that you can’t, because the hours between 12:00 AM-2:00 AM are now dedicated to finishing up that pesky post in time for an 8:00 AM posting.
Consequently, bags begin to form under your eyes, normal sleeping patterns are interrupted, hair becomes a tangled bird’s nest, and you enter into a zombie-like state once situated at your computer. At this point, chocolate is the only life source.
9.) You personally know every “Freshly Pressed” blogger by name, age, height, Zodiac sign, and food allergy…AND you’re now following them all on Twitter.
You know, there is a fine, fine line between admiration and a restraining order…
8.) You’ve developed a callous on your index finger from pressing the “REFRESH” button on your keyboard so much.
Dude, if there was 67 hits thirty seconds ago, chances are…there are STILL 67 hits.
7.) You been selected as the “Freshly Pressed” writer for the day, and, as such accolades demand, you tell all of your friends, family members, and colleagues. A parade is thrown in your honor, an Oprah book deal has been signed, and then, at 3:21 AM, you violently roll out of bed and realize that this has all been a dream.
Just think if you slept in bunkbeds…
6.) When you realized you HAVEN’T been picked for “Freshly Pressed,” after writing a kick-ass post and peaking with an all-time hit count, you rock silently in the corner, occasionally emitting whimpers or unintelligent sobs.
If you come across such an individual, do not make direct eye contact. This will only further irritate the individual, causing them to lash out with verbal expletives, flung poo, and roundhouse kicks, a la Chuck Norris.
5.) When ordering your Christmas gifts on Amazon.com, you fill out your shipping information as your WordPress.com alias.
I don’t know about you, but I’d jump at the chance to snag a Golden Ticket.
4.) You’ve installed a WordPress app on your phone and check it every 10 minutes. When someone asks what you’re constantly doing on your phone, you scream and yell “I’M CHECKING ON THE PRECIOUS!”
A rare case as displayed above in the elaborate drawing above should be dealt with EXTREME caution. Throw the possessed individual into Mount Doom IMMEDIATELY….and Elijah Wood, while you’re at it.
3.) You’ve made three or more posts in one day. (TRUE STORY)
At least The Mom’s proud…
2.) You can’t carry on any genuine conversation because you’re too busy blogging or editing your site.
No poop was harmed/created/destroyed during the production of this conversation.
1.) You become so desperate to find a blog topic that you attempt to turn even the smallest things into blog subjects.
How do you appropriately tag a post on “loofahs”???
All pictures copyright ME…so, there.