Cappuccinos May Increase Likelihood of Falling on Your Bum

Although the FDA is not likely to approve the above statement, I am willing to go out on a limb and make a case for it.

This morning, I was on top of my game.  I had successfully completed my RAC for the day before 11 AM…a feat which has not been accomplished for a few weeks.  Lately, I’ve been scrambling towards the end of the day to find and complete a RAC, but today, I was in rare form.

That is, up until 11:22 AM…

I had made plans to meet with my student teaching supervisor early this morning to discuss my future options for jobs and substitute teaching.  A week ago, my supervisor had undergone extensive shoulder surgery, which had left her quite homebound and without use of her right arm.  I decided to bring her some sort of pick me up that morning, which took the form of Bananas Foster cappuccino from Kwik Fill (hey, don’t knock Kwik Fill’s cappuccino until you try it…their Pumpkin Spice brand is outstanding).

By 10:30 AM, I had delivered said cappuccino to her and settled in for a brief visit, which was accompanied by an ample serving of her Orange Brunch Loaf (see, good things CAN come after doing good for others).  By 11:20 AM, I was headed out the door, letter of recommendation in hand, and bundled up against the brisk December air.  However, I was NOT bundled up for the crisp December pavement.

By 11:22 AM, I was lying facedown at the bottom of three cement stairs.  How I landed in this position I do not know, but I’m willing to wager that it was a combination of ice, obliviousness, and the worn down tread on my 8-year-old shoes.  I had slipped on the first step leading off of my friend’s porch, and although no one witnessed my tumble, I’m sure it looked like I was doing the Hokey Pokey, WHILE having a seizure, WHILE doing the YMCA dance with a sack-load of M&Ms in my system.  I dove down those three cement steps, unsuccessfully attempting to catch my balance, which apparently stayed in bed this morning.

Somehow, I managed to land simultaneously on my right knee, left hip, AND left palm, which still has some numbness to it. I was sure to turn around to find my supervisor either standing in awe or holding up an Olympic score card of 5.5.

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However, I was met with neither…she had already closed the door and had NOT been witness to my swan-dive.  In fact, no one had seen my fall, which left me a bit disappointed….I mean, come on!  I want some tumble sympathy!  That fall hurt!

So, with a swollen pride and no one to comfort me, I stalked off to my car, only after retrieving my letter of recommendation from a nearby snow bank, where it had landed after my meet-and-greet with the pavement.  Surprisingly enough, I have no cuts or bruises anywhere on my body, unless, of course, I bumped my occipital lobe during my fall and now have gone blind.  In that case, could someone come and find me?!?

And now for something completely different…

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Have you ever had the privilege of wandering aimlessly at Christmas Tree Shops? I have, and I can tell you with certainty:  these stores are full of things you never knew you needed, but now, you can’t live without.  For example:

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Hoping to propose this holiday season, but just haven’t found a ring big enough to suit your girlfriend’s tastes?  Nothing says “I love you” like a big, freakin’ diamond ring paperweight….yep, that’s right:  it’s a paperweight.  Or, an engagement ring suitable for Hagrid.

If paperweights aren’t on your wish list, how about these?

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It’s a pillow…AND it’s a stuffed animal!  Can’t afford to buy your children a brand spanking new Spongebob bedding set?  No worries!  Just buy them these pillanimals and you won’t even have to buy them anything else for Christmas because they get two gifts in one!

Looking for Christmas candles?  I was.  I didn’t even need a store directory…it was pretty blatantly obvious where this section was:

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(But do they have matches?!?)

This random A.D.D. moment is brought to you buy the letter “P” and from the makers of Icy Hot, a product which I will be taking stock in once my fall-induced bruises catch up with me tonight.  I hope all you readers out there in the Blog-O-Sphere have a wonderfully festive, accident-free day!  Merry Christmas!

RAC #34: Brought cappuccino to my supervisor

Result:  Free warm orange bread; a humiliating blow to my ego and a bruise on my hip

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12 responses to this post.

  1. Ouch! Get some Thermacare heating pads… (thermacare.com) They are the *only* thing that got me through some wickedly herniated discs! (They’re also awesome for cramps, believe it or not…)

    Reply

    • Surprisingly, I still do not have any bruises on any part of my body, although my hip is a little tender. I thought for sure I would be in need of bandages, but shockingly enough, I’m a-okay. Doesn’t mean I won’t treat myself to some ice cream later 🙂

      Reply

  2. Now THAT is a diamond! I always wanted to have to hire someone to lug my hand around on a cushion while I was wearing a big a$$ diamond! Now if you had to hire someone to carry your hand around, you never would have fallen. Just saying….
    Hope you are not seriously injured!
    xxxx

    Reply

  3. A teacher with the handle Aunt Bethany using Monty Python references? Umm, Yeah. I’m there. Or here. Well, you know. Sorry about your right knee, left hip, and left palm. Hope you feel better. I’m looking forward to seeing more of this site.

    Reply

    • I do feel better…a bit sore, but no battle scars to boast of. Thank you for your kind comments…I took a walk over to your blog, and I’ll be making a repeat visit!

      Reply

  4. Posted by Teri on December 3, 2010 at 7:01 pm

    Too darn funny!! Who knew ‘pillanimals’ existed? And if you actually do have ADD, hello sister from another mother. I am on a dose of Ritalin that could stop an elephant from wondering. 🙂

    Hope you feel better…sounds like that was quite a tumble.

    Reply

    • Okay, not gonna lie…I secretly want a pillanimal…especially the penguin one.

      I am feeling better, but just very sore! I counter this with Christmas cookies and cocoa!

      Reply

  5. Posted by Uncle Lewis on December 4, 2010 at 2:35 am

    Aunt Bethany, I feel bad you fell on your pooper. It is too wonderful a pooper to have a bruise.
    I have no idea what it is to have A.D.D. I’m sure it is a horrible disease I hope you can cure.
    The ring on “The Mom’s” wrist is not your style. You are more of a ring from a cracker jack box.
    AND… yes Educlation, Aunt Bethany is a Monty Pyton quoting, Christmas vacation lovin, beautiful, intelligent, and an incredible blogger.
    I kinda like her!

    Reply

    • My pooper is doing fine, Uncle Lewis. It thanks you for your concern, and hopes it will recover by Monday.

      Yes, I agree…that ring is way too large for my tastes…think of how many Little Caesar’s Hot-N-Ready pizzas you could buy with the money you’d spend on that!

      Thanks for your comments. Now, go take your medication.

      Reply

  6. Online CC Checker Anonymous 2011 ==>> cordalis.0fees.net

    Reply

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