What the #FF?!?: My First Follow Friday

Twitter, to all intents and purposes, is sort of like a secret society, which you are slowly inducted into through public humiliation and hazing.  Okay, maybe they don’t make you run through the streets naked while chanting “BANGARANG, RUFIO!”, but you certainly have to make a complete fool of yourself until you’re well-acquainted with the guidelines and slang terms of Twitter.

@….Mention…Re-Tweet…Tiny URL…Small URL…Hashtags…180 Characters…Trends…Following…Followers…Lists…DM…PM…and there’s probably a BM, too…the list goes on and on…

I pride myself in knowing almost all these terms, and today, I take that last step in becoming fully initiated in the Twitterverse:  I will finally use a hashtag, and I will know why.

Hashtags are applicable labels to your Tweets which sort of act like tags on blog posts.  They organize ideas/thoughts/trends/topics all over Twitter so that you can search for, say, #ripePeruvianmelons, or #ChristianBaleRants.  You simply apply a "”#”, or a hashtag, to your topic, and boom…instant organization.  You are now a responsible Tweeter.

Most topics are pretty straight forward (#parenting, #beverages, #movies).  However, there has been one hashtag that has continually perplexed me, and it’s time I put a stop to the madness.  I present for your examination…the elusive hashtag:

#FF

So, you’re probably asking “What the FF?!?”, especially those of you who do not Tweet or cannot Tweet due to a pre-existing medical condition.  “FF” stands for Follow Friday, Friend Follow, or even Followable Folks.  Allow me to open your eyes, ears, and other orifices to what #FF really means, through the use of a brilliant comic from my new favorite website, The Oatmeal (copyright Matthew Inman, 2010):

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Someone Who Deserves More Credit: Plinky Prompts Thursday

For nearly 30 years, one man has tirelessly struggled and fought against the evils of the world, often receiving no appreciation or gratitude in return. His quest for justice has often brought him up against incredible foes, as well as steadfast friends. He has traveled the world in the face of incredible odds, all for the love of one woman. He is a champion of the weak and mistreated, and rarely receives the recognition he deserves. The man, the warrior, the legend…is none other than Super Mario.

It may come as a surprise to some, but our unlikely hero rose to greatness out of very humble beginnings. Mario originally hailed from New York City, where he worked as a landlord and a free-lance plumber. His brother and roommate, Luigi, often accompanied him on his plumbing endeavors, but spent most of his time serving as a food critic for Italian-American restaurants.

Mario was hailed for his plumbing prowess all throughout Little Italy, earning the nickname “Jumpman” from close friends and family, but his reputation rose to national attention in 1983 when the sewers of New York City were invaded by dangerous creatures of an unknown origin. When riding the 1 Train on the NYC Metro Transit one summer afternoon, Mario debarked at the Houston Street stop, on his way to an emergency plumbing call. As he was leaving the train car, however, he spied an unusual four-legged turtle scurrying about the tracks. A set of red, beady eyes stared back at him…and then two sets, and three, and ten. The entire subway stop was filled with vermin, who looked intent on overtaking the subway platform and the citizens who lingered there. With only seconds to act and turtles encroaching on his position, Mario sent a flying kick to the nearest creature, which surprisingly flattened the monster on its back…rendering it incapacitated.

The other turtles looked at each other in alarm: how had the plumber guessed their weakness? The remaining nine creatures cowered in fear…how had their well-guarded secret become exposed? Only their clan knew that falling prostrate onto their shells would leave them powerless. A second kick would knock them out completely. They could not risk an encounter with such a worthy foe. The turtles immediately retreated further into the sewer, leaving Mario as a confused and lauded hero.

I’m a Bread Winner! or How I Pinched a Loaf

*ta, ta ta ta*  HEAR YE, HEAR YE!  All ye lords and ladies, gather around for a momentous tale of adventure, wit, skill, and kitchen appliances!  Hear ye, hear ye!  *ta, ta ta ta*

And now, without further ado, I present to the court your own Royal Highness’ first episode with her knight in shining armor, her Kitchen Aid Mixer!

I admit…my first interaction with the yet-unnamed Knight was risky and bold:  I planned to make two loaves of cinnamon bread in a machine I had never worked with before.  PLUS, I also wanted to bake 3 dozens cookies while the loaves were rising.  Pretty ambitious for a Kitchen Aid virgin.

I rolled my sleeves up, donned my apron, and set to work.  I was all a-twitter with excitement.  After carefully melting a butter/milk/sugar/salt mixture on the stove, I added that to some dissolved yeast, waiting patiently for me in my brand new mixing bowl.

I happen to love that picture, because it combines two of my loves this Christmas:  my new camera, and my new appliance.  So much love in one photo…I can’t bear it!

T’was the Day After Christmas: A Birthday Poem for The Mom!

Happy Birthday to The Mom today!

Yes, that’s right…get out your party hats and noise makers…The Mom is celebrating her birthday today, December 27th!  In honor of her birth, I will NOT embarrass her with a nudity/singing/dancing/eating picture!

Little Italy, NYC 2009

July 2010

In honor of her 33rd birthday*, I composed a little sonnet to commemorate the Christmas vacation we shared together this year. I think she’ll agree that when it comes to vacations, we don’t mess around.  Without further ado, I present T’was the Day After Christmas!

*=Fact Unverified by Wikipedia

T’was the Day After Christmas

“’Tis the day after Christmas, and all thru the apartment

Are items of extremely high caloric content.

I’ve sat on my bum, I’ve not moved a stitch,

My body will never be seen at Abercrombie and Fitch.

I don’t care to work, I don’t care to move

And on the couch, my bum has created a new groove.

The tree is still lit, the ornaments so merry

And I’m willing to be that my legs are quite hairy.

I sleep in ‘til 10, I eat danishes for lunch,

And why not? No need to get my panties in a bunch.

It’s Christmas vacation, a time to relax,

To veg on the sofa, and charge credit cards to the max.

So, for a few days more, my posts will be brief,

And then with the new year, this blog turns over a new leaf.

Enjoy being lazy, kick back, and drink “nog,”

Merry Christmas to all, from Aunt Bethany’s blog!

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And now, good readers, I’d like to present you with the Digital Nativity, a YouTube video I was directed to this holiday season.  It basically prompts the question:  how would the story of Christmas unfold in modern culture? No matter what your religion or culture, I believe this little clip can bring a smile to anyone’s face.  It was not created to offend, and the message towards the end really says it all.  Have a look, and pass it on, as I have done for you!

The Digital Story of the Nativity

Continued holiday blessings, from my blog to yours!  Do yourself a favor and follow my lead:  start the diet next week!

What’s all that flashing?

No, I did not get a strobe light for Christmas this year.  All that errant flashing emanating from within my house has originated from my new camera…my precious…

Due to an excess of lounging around on my bum, copious amounts of wine, M&Ms, and Eggnog, and a wacky sleep schedule which finds my bedtime at 2:00 AM, my normal blogging activities will resume once I’ve detoxed my body and mind from Christmas break (of course, then there’s the New Year’s Eve detox, so who knows how long that will take).

Without further ado, I present a taste of things to come from me and my camera.  I’ve edited a few of these with Picasa software, as per many suggestions from my loyal commenters. I only feel it right to name my camera…we’ve bonded.  While I think up names, I hope you enjoy the photos.  Rocco?  Guido?  Eugene?  Phil?…

Ornament from my first Christmas tree

Using the “glow” feature from Picasa