It’s official: the holiday season has begun, assuming I use Wegmans as a reliable source and knower-of-all-things-holiday.
You know it's time for Christmas when the Sushi stations are decorated...
Yes, that’s right. The holiday displays are out and blazing in all of their mistletoe-d glory. But I’m getting ahead of myself. First things first: on to yesterday’s RAC.
I made a much needed pilgrimage yesterday to the Mecca of all supermarkets, Wegmans (you know you’re in need of grocery when condiments start becoming meals). I could fill up an entire post detailing all the reasons why I love, love, LOVE Wegmans, but I’ll save that for another day. Suffice it to say that I could spend weeks upon weeks in that store and never get bored. In fact, I’m pretty sure I could run a third-world country from within its walls, AND still have time to bake the perfect apple pie in time for dinner (or just buy one from the bakery).
As I drove up to that Shining City, I began to prepare myself for the oncoming battle: finding a parking spot. Wegmans is never NOT busy. You could go there in the dead of night, during a lake-effect snow storm, on Christmas Day, when the Apocalypse is happening, and STILL find the parking lot filled with customers. The struggle for a parking spot is ongoing. People have actually petitioned Wegmans to reserve spots for themselves. True story. Vacationers at Chautauqua Institution in New York have actually asked the company if they could reserve select parking locations for them during the summer. I’m sure Muffy and Penfield were none too pleased when Wegmans turned them down. They probably had to be consoled by their limo driver and sangrias on the long, tedious, 20-minute ride back to base camp. Shame, shame.
Suddenly, Muffy and Penfield spoke to me, out of the warmth of their cashmere sleeping bags and Serta Mattress Memory Foam: park in the back of the parking lot and leave a spot open for someone who really needs it. Eureka! My RAC for the day! Instead of having to stress about finding a spot near the front, I would just park at the farthest spot in the rear of the parking lot…
Never Never Land
See? So far away that I can’t even worry about what spots are open near the front.
No Man's Land
I don’t ever think I’ve parked this far back. I’m pretty sure I was in a different zip code. I nearly left a trail of bread crumbs to ensure I could find my way back. But, I felt great about what I was doing…until this sight befell my eyes…
So beautiful I could cry...
An open spot. Almost the very first spot near the front of the store. Vacant. Taunting me. Leering at me with its unoccupied malice. Use me…use me…
I was strong. I held out. I kept on walking straight into Paradise, hoping somebody in need of a closer parking place would be relieved to find this spot I nearly cried over.
As soon as I entered Shangri-La, I retrieved a shopping cart and noticed a holiday display, replete with sugar, flour, baking utensils, and cookie pans. I paused for a moment, leaving my cart behind me, to assess whether or not I wanted to buy 2 cookie pans for $5.99 each.
Have you seen this cart?
Deciding a little splurge was in order, I picked up two large cookie sheets and turned around to place them in my cart, only to discover that my cart had been taken.
What? How? When? Why? The thief disappeared so fast that I suffered whiplash trying to locate them. My cart had literally been 2 feet away from me, far away from the cart corral in the front lobby. I had my back turned for literally 15 seconds. Had the cart rolled away? Had I imagined retrieving a cart in the first place?
To whom it may concern/Unknown Cart Thief: Thank you for taking my shopping cart yesterday. Unbeknownst to you, you actually aided me in my quest to create new RACs. I continued my shopping trip yesterday with the knowledge that someone, somewhere would be able to enter the check-out line a good 2 minutes before I did. I’m glad my absent-minded cart placement and proclivity towards browsing baked goods enabled you to snatch the cart closest to the front of Wegmans. Lord knows it can be absolute murder attempting to pull a cart out of the Cart Corral. I’m thrilled I was able to alleviate the stress and strain you would have endured during those few moments, and I only hope it has changed your life dramatically for the better. Merry Christmas and happy shopping!
RAC #4: Leaving a prime parking spot for someone truly in need of it
Result: Exercise
RAC #5: Unknowingly gave up my shopping cart to someone in dire need of one
Result: Eruption of laughter on my part, harmless fun, enabling someone’s husband to be home before the 5:00 rush
Miracle on 32nd Street 