Bah, humbug (But thanks for asking)!

I came across a conundrum yesterday when another opportunity for a RAC arose.  While dining with friends at the upscale gourmet restaurant, Perkins, I decided to split a meal with someone.

A light bulb suddenly went off in my head the minute a waitress took our order (for a very healthy sampler of fried zucchini, fried mozzarella, fried chicken tenders, and fried chimichangas):  why not pay for her portion of the meal? Why not?  The bill was only going to be about $10 anyways, and a quick flick of my Mastercard would surely take care of the check without having to argue over it at the table.  I was so proud of myself, believing that “do-gooding” was coming easier to me now.

I kept quiet the whole meal about my financial intentions.  As we finished off the last of our artery-clogging platter, I swiftly snatched away the check from our waitress, pulled out my debit card, and began to depart for the cash register.

My fellow dinner guest, however, had other ideas.  She bounded up beside me at the counter, crisp $5 bill in her hand, and insisted to pay for her portion.  I, too, kept insisting that she put her money aside and let me buy her a meal. The poor cashier at Perkins just stared at us until she thrust her money along side my card.  Resigned to the fact that my 2nd RAC of the day was slowly slipping out of my grasp, I let go of the reigns, acknowledging that this RAC would have to wait for another time.

The humorous part of this story, however, continues.  On the counter before us laid the check, my debit card, and her $5 bill.

Now, class, if the check is $10, and Malibu Barbie has $5, and Dudley-Do-Right only has a debit card, what would be the logical course of action?

  • A.  Swipe the card, give Dudley the $5 bill
  • B.  Fish

If you answered B, then you obviously are laying underneath your exhaust pipe on your car in the garage.  Apparently, this is what Malibu Barbie had been doing earlier in the day, because she asked the cashier if the bill could be electronically split, to make the transaction easier.  Obviously, two-digit math equations were a bit beyond her reach, so, as my replacement RAC, I decided to lighten the burden on her troubled mind, and solved the problem for her.  When I took the $5 bill from her hand, placed it in my pocket, and charged my card, the look of relief in her eyes was indescribable.  Her expression of sheer joy and relief made my entire evening worthwhile. “That’ll do, Pig…that’ll do.”

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