Public Service Announcement: Art of the Dutch Oven

Hello everyone. My name is Uncle Lewis and welcome to my first EVER blog post. As some of you know, I am a huge supporter of Aunt Bethany. I have known her for over 8 years and fall more and more in love with her with each day.

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In a point of my life that is at its darkest, Aunt Bethany’s blog has been a ray of sunshine and a source of inspiration. I look forward every day to breaking away from my life just to read her thoughts and admire a woman who can do it all. This blog is another way to glance into the wonderful mind that is Aunt Bethany. I have constantly been impressed with her style of writing and her sense of humor. Reading the comments from all of you, I know I am not the only one.

We have tossed around the idea of me doing a guest post for some time, but I am NOT a writer, nor do I pretend to be. So, at the risk of having this post being horrendous, I give you a P.S.A. on the art of the “Dutch Oven”, in hopes it will make you smile and stick around while AB takes a much needed break. Don’t go far, she will return very soon, totally recharged and ready to wow us all with her intelligence and wit. For my part, I promise not to make this a habit!


P.S.A. #2:  The Art of the Dutch Oven

Where did the term “Dutch Oven” come from?

clip_image002A Dutch oven is a cast iron cooking pot with a tight-fitting lid. The heavy lid fits so well that steam cannot escape the pot while it is cooking. All the ingredients in the pot are cooked at the same time, trapping juices and aromas together while it bakes. According to Wikipedia, the Dutch were far more advanced than the English at cooking in this style. An Englishman named Abraham Darby went to the Netherlands and took this cooking style to America where it was patented.

Through the years, the term Dutch Oven has taken on a different meaning. The definition remains:  a chamber to seal in juices and aromas in an enclosed space…but the application has evolved.

The new wrinkle often appears when two people really love each other. There comes a point in a great relationship where the happy couple becomes very comfortable with each other. Walls are broken down, couples become more relaxed, and nothing can be hidden. So many wonderful things happen at this point in the relationship… and some NOT so wonderful things happen. There is one fact that seems to evade our thought process as a relationship evolves. Remember… everyone poops!clip_image004

More than that, everyone toots.

I care not who you are…at some point air must come out of your body, and there are only two exits. So, when two people get comfortable enough with one another, they share even the deepest, darkest things. They have such a desire to share everything…even their aromas. Thus, the art of the Dutch Oven was born.

Again, according to Wikipedia, a Dutch Oven (a.k.a. a “covered wagon”), is a toot chamber created by pulling a blanket over someone’s head and breaking wind, typically not to the delight to the partner.

Depending on what type of food is consumed, you can name your Dutch Oven accordingly…examples include:

  • White Castle Dutch Oven
  • McDonalds Dutch Oven
  • Bean Dip Dutch Oven
  • Beer Dutch Oven (especially bad the next morning)
  • Extra Hot Chicken Wings Dutch Oven

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Sometimes Dutch Ovens are done on accident…sometimes they are done on purpose. The act is not only limited to just the bedroom… and it is not always at the expense of others. It is totally possible to Dutch Oven yourself!

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Examples of places you can be sealed up in your own poison are:

  • Space suits
  • Deep sea diving suits
  • Your own car
  • In the doctor’s office while you wait for the doctor
  • A cube or office at work.

clip_image009I have heard rumors of shopping at “Bed Bath and Beyond” and being Dutched Oven by a loved one while walking down the aisles, but this is technically NOT a Dutch Oven because of the open air.

Both parties in a relationship are open game for such displays of love. In some cultures, once you Dutch Oven a loved one, you are technically considered married.

The most important thing to remember is that it is a display of love and devotion. It is a sign the relationship has taken a step in the right direction. It shows a level of comfort between two people, a level most couples strive to attain. It should be welcomed with open arms and intense cuddling afterward.

It should not be met with disdain or comments like:

“Uncle Lewis, that is just plain nasty, you should be ashamed of yourself.”

Or

“If you do that again, you are going to be sleeping on the couch.”

Or

“How can you tell me you love me then try to kill me?!?”

Remember, it’s the smell of love in the air….

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44 responses to this post.

  1. “In some cultures, once you Dutch Oven a loved one, you are technically considered married.”

    I renew our vows nightly.

    This was really enlightening. Well done.

    Reply

  2. Hahahaha. This almost makes me feel better about the “Stanky Sheet Syndrome” my fiance suffers from. Next time, between my gagging and dry heaving, I will try to remember it’s just because he really loves me!

    Reply

  3. The old Dutch oven. What a fascinating history lesson. I may have to incorporate this one into my cycle for Western Civilization! I don’t know about level of comfort. I believe this tactic is usually a “full blown” assault.

    Reply

    • Posted by Uncle Lewis on February 9, 2011 at 11:48 am

      Well, I’m not one to toot my own horn, but this History fascinates me. It was difficult to just sit backand just let this blog rip out of me. The ideas really prairie dogged out of the blue.
      Writing is hard when you have kids and they want to be dropped off at the pool. Somehow I found the strength to squeeze this one out in time. Thanks for the comment Clay.

      Reply

    • Who knew Uncle Lewis was a history buff? I’m encouraging him to write his thesis on it…and get this..he’s willing to do field work for it…what a guy.

      Reply

  4. Groddy. :) I can honestly say that this has never been done to me by the husband because if he did I would punch him in the stomach. Now with him and the kids it’s a different story. The 3 of them have tooting wars and my 5 year old daughter loves to have her finger pulled. ;) Fabulous, what a little lady!

    Reply

    • Posted by Uncle Lewis on February 9, 2011 at 1:19 pm

      Kids are the worst. Especially when they are over 25. Thank you for the comment.

      Reply

    • My finger pulling abilities have waned over the years…now my mom reigns supreme in the toot department. Uncle Lewis mentioned “Bed, Bath, and Beyond” in his post…The Mom was the cause of that statement.

      Reply

  5. Oh god. My marriage is in trouble. I’ve never done a dutch oven on my husband! Gahhhhhh!

    Reply

    • Posted by Uncle Lewis on February 9, 2011 at 9:36 pm

      Tonight’s the night.

      Show the love toniggt

      Reply

      • Posted by Nazia on February 9, 2011 at 10:19 pm

        Dont trust on dutch oven legacy it can be backfired .if you have a consistent sentiments for your love one or ones with uneven conditions of surrounding you are not in need of support like Dutch oven that can ditch you too perhaps.
        Enjoy this dutch proverb too.
        Al draagt een aap een gouden ring, het is en blijft een lelijk ding

        Translation: “Even if a monkey wears a gold ring, it is and remains an ugly creature”
        Meaning: “One can not fix up something internally bad by a simple outer change”
        so be consistent in attachments with your friends and known people.

    • Hurry! Show him how much you care, take a deep breath, and add a little spice back into your romance!

      Reply

  6. Hmm did my husband tell you to write this story?
    Where is he? Is he with you Uncle Lewis?

    Reply

  7. Aunt Bethany, you WIN BLOGGING! More specifically, I am passing The Memetastic Award to you, funny girl!
    Check out my latest post for Rules For Winners! You even get a tacky award badge!

    Reply

    • Posted by Uncle Lewis on February 11, 2011 at 6:54 am

      YAY… so happy AB has people like you Tori. She does need awards but the tacky badge is mine… sorry Aunt Bethany

      Reply

    • Oh my gosh! I need to do some MAJOR clean-up on my blog! I had no idea such an award was bestowed upon me! Consider me humbled, Tori! I will certainly make a few posts on this when I’m back and running in a week or so!

      Reply

  8. Love your blog, Aunt Bethany! Tori turned me on to you. I passed the Memetastic Award to her; she passed it to you. Sorry!
    Hugs from Haiti,
    Kathy

    Reply

    • Thanks for stopping by, Kathy! So sorry I haven’t been a better host, but life has been crazy the past month! I will be back to the blogging world next week! Hope to see you around again!

      Reply

  9. The car. The car when the windchill is -1 outside and you can’t roll down the windows. DUTCH OVEN BAYBEEEE!!

    Ha ha! Love this post and you ARE a writer and a comic, Uncle Lewis. I can see why you and Aunt Bethany get along so well. I look forward to more from you.

    Toodles! Or should I say TOOTles! :-)

    Reply

    • Posted by Uncle Lewis on February 11, 2011 at 7:00 am

      Thank you Angelia. It means a lot to me that the majority of AB’s blogging friends understood the humor in this piece. It is kind of a gross topic and I really could have been tied to a rail and driven out of town. I will write again in the future, if AB will have be back, and I promise it will not be something gross.
      Keep supporting Aunt Bethany… she needs great people like you! :)

      Reply

    • Oh God, don’t give him MORE ideas on how to dutch oven me! He’s done the car before, but not with sub-zero temps!

      And yes….he IS a writer, and an unbelievable comic…I hope to get him to write more!

      Reply

  10. Very interesting post. Maybe I should have eaten breakfast before I read it!

    Reply

  11. I can’t live without my Dutch Oven. It’s awesome.

    Reply

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